I shift back into my seat, confused. “That’s it?” I know losing a job is tough, no matter what kind it is. And with Rya, she's always bounced from one job to another, trying out all sorts of things. Her most recent one was in property management. Buteven so, it’s hard to believe that losing this job would be enough to make her shopping addiction spiral further, especially since job changes have always been a part of her pattern.
He sighs. “There’s more.” He pauses. “She broke down and started crying when she told me. I’ve never seen her like this. I mean, we all know she job hops a lot. But she said she feels like she’s behind in life. She keeps comparing herself to you.”
“To me?” I say with furrowed brows.
He nods. “Because you run a successful business, yet she can’t find what she likes and hops around from job to job.”
That makes me really sad. I can’t help but feel a pang in my chest, realizing this is probably why Rya hasn’t wanted to come to me and tell me what’s been going on in her life. All the changes I’ve seen make sense now. She’s comparing herself to me. She shouldn’t be doing that. I never wanted her to feel like she had to live up to some standard. She’s her own person.
“How long has she not had a job?” I ask.
“She lost it after Vegas.”
That was a couple of months ago. I did notice a slight change in her behavior after that. “What has she been doing this whole time?”
He looks at me with dread in his eyes. “Take a wild guess?”
My lips parts. “No.”
He nods his head. “She’s been so depressed about it she shops.”
“Did you see her leave for work?” I sayworkas I curl my fingers in air quotes.
He bites his lips. “Yup.” He leans back into his seat as if he feels some relief from getting this off his chest. “She would wake up, get ready and leave. Just like it was a normal working day.”
“And instead, she was going shopping?”
He lets out a sigh. “Yup.” He takes his phone out of his pocket and looks at the screen. “Well, I better get going.” He scoots his chair out. “Promise me you won’t say anything to her.”
“Okay.”
“She made me promise not to tell you.”
“Oh,” I say, shocked. “Why?”
He shrugs. “She said she would tell you in her own time.”
I nod and walk Ezra out the door.
Weight lifts off my shoulders knowing it wasn’t me who was causing her this change in behavior. At the same time, I can’t shake the feeling of some guilt. Why do I keep blaming myself for other people’s problems? First Zayn, and now Rya. It’s like every time something goes wrong in their lives, I assume it’s me. Their issues have nothing to do with me, and I need to stop making myself feel like they do. I can’t fix everything for everyone. I feel bad for Rya and the way she’s been carrying this, but I can’t help how my business became. I never intended for things to turn out this way. Then, I realize—no wonder she asked if she could work for me. She didn’t have a job. She was looking for work, and she thought I would give her a job.
I said no because I knew I wouldn’t have been able to work with her. Not after everything that had happened before. I helped her once, and it didn’t go well. She made me look bad. I wish I could help her more, but I feel stuck. If I go down that road again, she might make me look bad again, and I can’t jeopardize my business. Yeah, she’s a job hopper, but she always finds jobs. She’ll find one, I’m sure.
“Get on with me, Vi.” Rya says as she sits on the paddleboard in the water next to Zay. I get on her paddleboard and cross my legs behind her.
“Really?” Ez asks, staring at us two.
“What?” Rya says, shifting her shoulders up and down.
He shades his face from the sun with his hand. “Two men on a paddleboard together.”
Rya and I look at the space between him and the empty spot behind Zayn on the paddleboard and howl in laughter.
Rya paddles out and yells, “You two will look so cute.”
I chuckle even louder, watching as Zayn and Ezra figure out how they’re going to do this.
The sun beams down on me, making my skin glisten from the tanning oil. We spend a lot of our summer days at the lake soaking up the sun. Rya and I bought a paddleboard a couple summers ago and we take it out any chance we can get when it’s hot out.
