“Hey,” I say in a low tone.
He pivots around and the moment he sees me; his face looks strained, like he’s ready to put up a fight with me.
My shoulders slump and a heaviness sinks into my chest at the sight of him. A home should be a safe place to come to, where you can let go of everything. Not somewhere to stress you out even more. I can’t help but feel like I’m the one who has been putting us in these stressful situations. He’s told me he’s stressed, and I kept pushing. I should have listened to him the first time when he told me he was stressed because of work.
“Hi,” he mutters under his breath, his jaw clenched.
Even the sound of his voice sounds defeated.
“Can we talk?”
He runs his hands through his hair. “If this is going to start an argument, then no.”
An icy wave of shock runs through me. I’m not even sure why I’m surprised at his words because I know every time I’ve said Iwant to talk, it turns into an argument. “This is killing me, Zayn. I don’t want to fight with you,” I say. My voice matches how exhausted his sounds.
He walks toward the living room and slumps down on the couch next to me, letting out a heavy sigh. “It’s killing me too,” he says, fidgeting with his hands. “I’m sorry for accusing you of cheating.”
My head shifts back at his apology. I didn’t know what kind of reaction I was going to get bringing this up. I thought for sure I was going to have to apologize first. His demeanor is calm, calmer than I expected it to be. I can feel his exhaustion overtaking him just like it’s overtaken me, too.
“It’s okay.” I scoot closer to him; the distance between us has grown too far, and I just want to be near him again.
He leans back onto the couch, avoiding eye contact. “I’m stressed and I keep taking everything out on you.” He tilts his head toward me. “I’m sorry.”
I sit frozen, my mind whirling. It is difficult to forget everything that has happened, the arguments, the accusations. But hearing him speak calmly and apologetically makes me feel even worse that I haven’t been there for him through his stressful time.
“I get it,” I say softly. “I know you’ve been under a lot of stress. But I haven’t been the best at helping you get through it either.”
“It’s not your fault,” he says as we intertwine our hands together. “I shouldn’t have taken my stress out on you.”
I take a deep breath—one I haven’t been able to take in a while because of all the tension. My chest and shoulders are finally at ease, like a heavy weight as finally lifted. “I hate this distance it’s created between us. It’s not us.”
His tired eyes meet mine. “Me too.”
Since we’ve both accused each other of cheating, I think it’s time we finally talk—really talk—and try to close the distance that all of this has put between us. “Do you really believe I would cheat on you with Ezra?”
He stares off away from me, almost as if he’s too guilty to look at me for thinking we would sleep together.
He shakes his head.
“Then why would you accuse me of it?”
He shrugs slightly. “I don’t know…I just.” He pauses for a moment before letting out a sigh. “I do think this distance we’ve had between us caused me to think that.”
“We need to stop being cold toward each other. We’ve been arguing so much it’s causing a strain in our relationship,” I say, watching him as he swallows hard.
He squeezes my hand softly in his and says, “I know, and I know I’m to blame for it. I should have come to you in the beginning to let you know what was going on.” He looks at me, his eyelids slightly lower and his lips pressed together. “I’m sorry.”
I watch Zayn, his words hanging in the air between us. His apology hits differently. It’s not what I expected. I thought this was going to be another one of those fights where we both say things we don’t mean. Where nothing gets resolved, and we end up feeling more lost than before. This sounds like him. Like us. We’ve never argued like this before. It’s not like us.
I lean into him, closing the space between us not only physically but also emotionally. I want us to feel like us again. His hand tightens in mine as I rest my head on his shoulder.
“Have you talked to Ezra… Since. You know?” I ask.
Zayn shakes his head while his eyes dart around the restaurant.
It’s date night. We haven’t had one of these in a while, with all the bickering that’s been going on between us. I’ve felt more at ease after we last spoke about everything. Since everything that happened, I thought it would be nice to invite Ezra and Rya. Although I’m not sure if they’re even going to show up; we’re already on our second round of drinks. Good thing they serve bread or else the wine would get to me already with my lack of food today.
“You think they’re going to show up?” Zay asks, shifting in his seat as if he’s uncomfortable with the thought of seeing Ezra.
