Glaring into his searing blue eyes, I take a deep breath. “I think,” I say, “that that is enough of that.” Then I drop my hand, take a step back, and close the door on his stupid, stinky face.
“And he just went on forever, Ruby. Forever. He would not stop. I know I messed up, but seriously? You don’t tell someone they can trust you in an emergency, then spend that entire emergency telling them how dumb they are for getting into it. I’m just—” I stutter over a breath, lungs burning with the effort it takes to hold back my tears. “I’m trying, here. Trying my best,you know? I didn’t go into the situation trying to do wrong, but he’s acting like… like… like I’m purposely trying to cause problems.”
I’m angry as much as I am something else—something I don’t want to name, because it would imply that I care about Roman’s opinion, which would imply that I care about the man himself. And I really, really,reallydo not want to care about a man who would respond to a cry for help in this way. Everything before he arrived? Him having his keys before I’d even told him where I was, talking to me on the phone while I waited for him, scared and alone, whispering reassurances to me that he’d be there soon? All good things. Amazing things, even. I could care about that guy, for sure.
Everythingafterhe arrived? Absolutely not. Nooo, thank you. I’d rather care for a death row murderer than that guy.
“I know you’re trying,” Ruby says through the phone, sighing. “And I know it doesn’t seem like it, but he really is trying too. He’s just…”
“A big, giant jerk?” I suggest.
“A man,” she counters. “He’s a man. And on top of that, a firstborn son. Not to mention, he’s tall, conventionally attractive according to Will, and supremely good at what he does professionally. I can count on one hand the number of people in our entire lives who didn’t like Roman. In other words, this is not a man accustomed to being told he’s wrong, which has given him a confidence that doesn’t lend itself to second-guessing his instincts. If his instincts say to lecture, he lectures. And I know he’s going about it the wrong way, El. I agree with you. The way he handled it was bad. But as much as you want him to think of your intentions, you have to give that same consideration back. Ignore his actions for a moment. What were Roman’sintentions?”
I huff. “I don’t like calm, personally developed Ruby rightnow.”
“Sorry, the old Ruby can’t come to the phone right now,” she deadpans. “Come on, El. What were his intentions?”
“To be a big, giant jerk?” I offer, scratching my nose.
“Elodie,” she admonishes, and I groan, rolling over on my bed and shoving my face into my bedding, sticking my nose right between two of the raised bubbles of my homemade quilt.
“To keep me safe,” I mumble into the fabric.
“Great,” Ruby drawls. “Now try that again, but intelligibly.”
Ugh.
I twist my face, blow curls out of the way, and repeat with only mild ill-temper, “To keep me safe.”
“And when people have the best of intentions, we are what?”
Ew, ew, ew. “I hate you,” I tell her. “This is abuse of the highest order.”
“That’s insensitive,” she says. “And when people have the best of intentions, we are what?”
Ugh.
“We are understanding and kind,” I parrot, words I’ve made her say often these past few months as she’s adjusted to life with Will. Words I wish I’d never thought up. “But—”
“No, no, no,” she interrupts. “Youtaught me this lesson.Youmust now lead by example. Show me the way, El, for I am lost.”
I snort. “You’re terrible.”
“And I love you,” she replies softly. “And I love Roman. I want you guys to live in whatever harmony you can find, and, I’m sorry, but being angry at a man for wanting you to be safe is not going to promote any type of harmony.”
“Being angry at me because of a single mistake isn’t going to promote harmony either,” I mumble, not quite ready to let it go.
She sighs, not disagreeing. “He’ll get there. But you can’t control Roman. You can only control Elodie. What sort of person is Elodie going to be today?”
I sniff. “Bratty?”
Another sigh, much longer, and I cave. “Fine, fine. Elodie is going to be understanding and kind, because in a world full of hate and strife, it’s important to show that things can be better if we do better. I will do better. In this moment, on this day, I will choose better.” My eyes roll. “Even if it is for your stupid, stinky brother.”
“There’s my bestie,” she says. “I’ve missed you. I was scared for a minute there thatI’dhave to be the sunshine in this relationship. Scary.”
“You’d be an excellent sunshine,” I lie, rolling on my bed to face the ceiling.
She doesn’t believe me, and we spend the rest of the phone call arguing about it until she has to go spend time with the love of her life, who is, apparently, not me.
