Which wasn’t right.
I closed my eyes and tipped my head back against the wall. Even if I did trust her, I couldn’t let her in. If Poppy attacked her, she would never forgive herself once she returned to herself.
A whole damn day had passed since I’d brought her down here, meaning Reaver should be returning soon. I kept telling myself that, refusing to let doubt creep in. Reaver would be successful. He would find someone who could help.
Lowering my hand, I opened my eyes to find Poppy as she had been, her knees drawn up to her chest and arms wrapped tightly around them. She’d been like that for hours. The only time she had moved was when she first woke and made a mad dash for the door. When I caught her, she’d screamed as if my touch burned. She screamed so loud, Delano had shifted into his wolven form to scratch at the door. And she didn’t stop screaming until I let her go. That’s when she retreated to her spot along the wall, where she stayed. She hadn’t drunk anything. Hadn’t eaten. Hadn’t used the privy. She hadn’tmoveduntil Tawny was at the door. But by the time I turned around, she was pressed against that damn wall again.
Using the eather earlier had taken its toll on her, so I’d thought she had fallen asleep a few times. But every so often, I felt the pain of her hunger piercing my flesh like a thousand tiny, burning daggers. And then she would begin rocking from side to side.
I swallowed the knot in my throat, the silence of the room punctuated by her shallow, erratic breathing. “Poppy,” I called softly, careful not to startle her. “Can you look at me?”
Nothing indicated she registered my presence in the chamber let alone heard me.
My gaze moved over her, landing on her hands. She clutched the sides of her robe where it covered her legs so tightly that her knuckles turned white. I let my senses stretch out to get a read on her. A bitter taste gathered in my throat. It felt like anguish but…something more.
Drawing in a deep breath to steady my movements, I quietly placed a hand on the floor and slowly rocked forward.
She ceased her swaying, and her head snapped up. I froze. Her face was nearly leached of all color, and the smudges under her eyes had grown into dark shadows. When she stared back at me, I noticed that the streaks of crimson had faded from her irises. That should’ve been a good sign, but what I saw in her eyes—what I nowknewI was picking up from her—stopped me in my tracks.
Yes, she was in pain, and it was far more profound than the physical, but I also tastedfear.
Pure, stark terror.
Dear, gods. I struggled to recall when—if ever—I had known her to be so afraid. The only time I could think of was when Kieran and I had been taken down by shadowshade—a flower found in the eastern hills of the Mountain of Nyktos that freezes those affected and turns them to stone.
She had been terrified for us then.
But now?
She appeared terrified ofme.
The air was charged with currents of energy that made my skin prickle as she drew back, pressing herself against the wall like she sought to sink into it. Tensing, I saw her eyes widen with fear and…
Panic rose in her like a tidal wave about to break. “Don’t,” she rasped.
My soul withered. That word sounded broken. “Poppy,” I whispered hoarsely, loathing how I’d taunted her when she first woke up in an attempt to distract her from her desire to escape. “Please, do not be afraid of me.Please.”
Poppy flinched.
She fuckingflinched, and all the hurt and anger I’d felt upon realizing she didn’t trust me in all the ways one needed was nothing compared to knowing I was the one causing her fear. I wanted to tear out my heart.
A sense of helplessness crept over me. I’d never felt so damn powerless in my life as I watched her angle her body sideways, keeping her knees pressed tightly to her chest but her head trained in my direction. There was distance between us—one that felt like miles, even though it was only a few feet.
Forcing my body to relax, I didn’t dare move forward or backward as her wary gaze remained fixed on me. Gods, shit felt really bleak in the minutes that followed. I needed to stop that line of thought.
So, I pushed down my frustration until I felt almost nothing and focused on the fact that she had at least spoken her first word since she’d placed herself against the wall. I took another breath. “You don’t remember this right now, but you can always talk to me. About anything,” I said softly, suppressing the part of me that wished that were true. “You can tell me what you’re thinking.”
She blinked, her lashes slow to lift after lowering.
“Even if all you’re thinking about is escaping. You can tell me that.” I eased myself down on my ass again. I was no longer half-leaning toward her, but I was closer. I would consider that progress. “If you’re thinking about how much I’m annoying you right now,” I said with a faint smile, “you can tell me that, just like you would anytime in the past when I frustrated you.”
Her chin tilted down, causing strands of hair to swing forward against her cheek. Unsurprisingly, she didn’t answer.
It truly was like she was in another world—one where my voice couldn’t reach her, and my presence was a threat rather than a comfort.
Gods. Despite the shit with the promise, I ached to hold her. To reassure her with a touch. Yet I knew that any attempt would only cause her more fear. So, I stayed rooted to the spot my ass had plopped down on, a silent guardian wrestling with the fear that I was losing her to a battle I didn’t have the knowledge to understand. An enemy I knew existed but couldn’t see.
The room was silent except for Poppy’s shallow breathing, a rhythm that seemed too frail and labored. Concern took hold as I let my senses stretch out toward her. What I picked up from her was a swirling mixture of fear, anxiety, and something flat. Emotionless. Empty. I concentrated on her. It was like peeling back the layers of an onion. The fear was hers, as was the anxiety and hunger, but what lurked underneath? That cold emptiness? That wasn’t her.
