His gaze snapped to mine. “What do you mean?”
I lifted a shoulder. “It was warm and sunny, and she was humming something. A song.” I took another drink. “But then the sky turned dark, and I—” I stiffened, my heart dropping. “I saw someone else.”
“Kolis,” Seraphena said quietly. It wasn’t a question.
“He was…mostly bone. Crimson bone. And I was…” I didn’t need to say that Kolis had scared me. It was likely clear in the tremor running through my hand. But just moments ago, Casteel’s appearance hadn’t frightened me at all. It had… Heat crept up my throat. Yeah, I wouldn’t think about that at the moment. “She vanished then, and it was just him. But when I saw her, it was like looking at myself without scars in the mirror.” My gaze went back to Casteel. “I just remembered that.”
A faint smile appeared, but it didn’t reach his eyes.
“What you saw was a dream.” Seraphena paused, tucking some hair back. “But he was there.”
The air slowly leaked out of my lungs, even though I had already known that.
“I felt him.” Eather pulsed through her eyes. “Smelled him.”
“Stale lilacs,” I whispered, rubbing my palm against my thigh as thegrul’swords echoed in my thoughts. How the ceeren didn’t harm me. I thought about the nightmare—the touch before I dreamt of him snapping my neck. Because it was him.Histouch.
My skin suddenly felt sticky. Dirty. Like it did when I thought about having drunk Teerman’s blood or having him take mine. I wanted to wash my skin until the sensation vanished.
A rush of messy emotions drove me to my feet. I moved around the chair, holding the glass to my chest. Casteel turned, his gaze searching. “I can’t sit.”
He said nothing as he crossed his arms once more.
I drank, but my throat remained dry. “When I heard him in stasis, before the dream? It made me feel…”
“What?” Casteel asked quietly.
I swallowed. “Pity.”
“Penellaphe,” Seraphena’s voice sharpened.
“Poppy,” I corrected her.
Something flickered in her eyes, but it was gone in an instant. “He is a pitiful excuse for a man. Do not pity him.”
“That wasn’t all I felt,” I added. “I also felt seething hatred, and…” Fear. I’d felt choking fear. I could feel it even now, the residual terror clinging to my skin.
My eyes lifted and met Casteel’s. His beautiful face betrayed no emotion, and his shields were up. I picked up nothing from him. I knew I could force my way in if I pushed, but I didn’t need to.
I knew what he felt.
And I knew he could hear what I hadn’t said.
He’d likely tasted the fear radiating from me.
Calming the whirling essence in me, I backed away and neared the wall. “You said he could sense Sotoria. He woke up or…became aware when I was born.”
“He would have,” Seraphena confirmed.
Turning, I went to the window. The sun had long since risen. I breathed in and then slowly let the breath out. Suddenly, something Seraphena had said earlier came back to me.
“Hold on, I’m related to Callum?”
“Yeah.” Seraphena drew out the word. “We may never have a family reunion,” she said sardonically. “For obvious reasons.”
What in the actual fuck? I stared at the trees but really didn’t see them. Callum? My…my brother? Absolutely not. He wasn’t anything to me. While I may have been Sotoria, I wasn’t her. Iwasn’t.
“And here I thought Malik would make family dinners awkward,” Casteel muttered.
