Shaking the thought from my mind, I caressed the smooth side of the blade. The tips of my fingers tingled at the contact as I reached the deadly point. Part of me wanted to destroy the weapon, but I knew we’d need it.
It was one of the only things that could kill a Primal.
Ancient bone and eather, but…there were stipulations to that.
Primal gods had few weaknesses once they matured—a process that could take months or even years, depending on the god. But once that happened? I thought about how only a Primal carrying the true essence of Life or Death—or a Primal like me—could strike down another Primal. But there was one other weakness.
That was all thevadentiawould tell me, though. It went silent then—because, of course, it did.
I returned the dagger to its pouch and laid it back in the chest. Closing the lid, I grabbed the items I’d placed on the floor.
After draping the harness over a rod, I put the daggers on the small table outside.
Eyeing the last door in the room, I muttered, “This had better not be a disappointment.”
I immediately walked toward a privacy screen with adjustable, sleek black blinds standing in the center of the semicircular chamber. A wooden stool was near the tub, and stone shelves held folded towels, various soaps, and bathing salts. But the real centerpiece of the chamber was the tub itself.
And I was so not disappointed by what I saw.
It was big enough for two—possibly even three—people, but the two pipes running out of the floor and curving over the foot of the tub sent a bolt of surprise through me. If I hadn’t been to Atlantia, I wouldn’t have known that one of them carried heated water. I’d had no idea Wayfair had anything like this—or that the Blood Crown was even capable of such infrastructure. But it made sense. After all, Isbeth had once lived in Atlantia. She would’ve seen mundane things there that most would consider an opulent luxury here.
While I was happy to see that we didn’t have to force someone to haul buckets of steaming water up several floors, it infuriated me—despite not surprising me—that, once again, the Blood Crown had possessed the knowledge to improve others’ lives but instead chose to use it only for themselves.
We could change that.
That bit of realization caused my stomach to flip as my gaze traveled over the gold-veined marble. Opposite the tub, a wide vanity stretched along the curved wall, the countertops gleaming in the dim light. Dual mirrors with brushed-gold frames hung above, and a wall partially extended across the chamber, providing privacy for someone to take care of their personal needs.
As I turned, I caught my reflection in one of the mirrors and slowly approached it. The shock of seeing my eyes earlier had prevented me from taking a closer look at myself. The scarswere still present, though I thought they might have faded just a hair more, and the edges of the torn skin didn’t appear quite as jagged. If someone stood at a distance…and had poor vision, perhaps they wouldn’t even see them.
The other half a nightmare.
A tremor coursed down my arms as Duke Teerman’s words resurfaced. Not because of what he’d said. I no longer felt shame when I thought about how he spoke about me. It was how he took…liberties. And allowed Lord Mazeen to do the same. How he looked at me with those cold, black eyes that often reflected a glint that terrified me even when I first met him, and he still pretended to be kind and caring. How many times had it been Kolis staring back at me? Had he been the one who lifted the cane? Who wanted to see it strike bare flesh?
My fingers pressed into the cool marble. I hadn’t always left the Duke’s office conscious—the times when the pain of the caning had ended only when my body gave up. I had forbidden myself from even thinking about what could’ve occurred between the time my vision turned black and when I woke to find myself in my bed. I had convinced myself that it was just something that happened. And I was glad I had. Because now that I allowed myself to think about it, I needed to know what’d happened. Had that been when I was given blood?
Gods. I had his blood in me. Technically, I supposed it was Teerman’sandKolis’s blood.
My lip curled.
Why had I even thought of that? Now, I wanted to vomit. I also wanted to scrub my skin until it turned bright pink.
But the idea that this could’ve happened—no, not an idea, not acould’ve…the blood exchangehadhappened. Because how else was there a bond between Kolis and me? The knowledge that it had happened, even if I had no memory of it, made me want to scream, shed my skin, let loose—
Drawing in a deep breath, I closed my eyes. There was no point in allowing it to affect me. It was in the past—one I didn’t even remember. It wasn’t like I had memories of it to haunt me. I had no reason to feel like I…
Like I what?
Had been mistreated? Abused? Ihadbeen. And I hadn’t let it shape who I was. So, I had no reason to feel like I had been…
Forced.
Assaulted.
But, gods, I had been. Even if it was just the blood. Still, I had no recollection of it. I was lucky.
My fingers started to ache from how much force I pressed down with. I eased up and straightened them. There was no reason to think about the Duke. Casteel had ensured that he was no longer a concern. Reopening my eyes, I stared directly into them in the mirror.
What would people think when they saw me?
