But, in my defense, I couldn’t stop myself. It was like being compelled. But for what? To just stand by and watch people die? That was bullshit. I was a Primal of Life. I could take away pain, heal, and even bring life back to those who had passed. They weren’t gifts from the gods in the way the Ascended claimed they were, but they were a gift—one I could’ve used. But Holland had prevented it.
Anger simmered as I roughly dried myself off and yanked on the lightweight robe. I inhaled deeply as I buttoned the robe and pushed down the anger, preparing myself for whatever Vikter didn’t want to tell me.
When I stepped back into the circular chamber, my heart leapt at the sight of Vikter.
Part of me still couldn’t believe it was him, and this wasn’t a dream.
He had taken a seat by the table, idly rubbing the knee of one outstretched leg. He’d injured it while fighting some Craven shortly after I arrived in Masadonia—or at least that’s what he told me when I was older and asked about it. But now,I wondered if it was an even older injury. That odd sense of knowing didn’t magically provide me with an answer, but either way, I didn’t think it was fair that such aches still plagued him.
Vikter’s gaze flicked up, his hand stilling. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” I cleared my throat.
“Come sit with me.” He waited until I got my butt moving and sat in the chair on the other side of the table. “I need to say something to you. Something you’ll disagree with, but I still need to say it.”
I swallowed. “Okay.”
He took a ragged breath. “There were things I knew you were going through—the Duke, his lessons.”
Tension rippled along my spine, causing my stomach to dip. The reaction wasn’t unusual, but there… Something about Duke Teerman lingered on the edges of my thoughts, elusive yet unsettling.
“I didn’t know everything. I didn’t need to,” he continued. “I had to protect you, and by doing so, I couldn’t risk my position as your guard. If I spoke up—”
“You would’ve been removed or worse,” I cut in, and that was true. If he’d intervened, Duke Teerman would’ve had him demoted or made sure he disappeared. That was why Vikter couldn’t do anything, and it was something Casteel would disagree with me on.
“But that’s no excuse. And I don’t mean for it to be. Nor do I expect your forgiveness.”
“You have it.”
“I never should’ve asked for it,” he countered softly. “I just want you to know that I’m sorry you had to go through what you did. I’m so damn sorry.”
I started to repeat that he had my forgiveness, but I stopped myself. There was nothing for me to forgive. I wished there were because it was on him to forgive himself. “I understand.”
Inhaling deeply, he closed his eyes briefly.
“You know, he got his,” I said. “In his chest with his favorite cane.”
A rough laugh left him. “Yeah, he did.” His throat worked on a swallow as he opened his eyes. “And he got more than that. You should ask your boy about that.”
My brows lifted.
Vikter cleared his throat. “About what you asked before—why the other Arae wouldn’t be happy with you being here. Well…” He sighed heavily. “Some of the other Arae think having you here is too much of a threat.”
“A threat to what?” I prodded, running my fingers along the robe’s sash. Again, no answer came to me. “The balance?”
Vikter hesitated.
Tension crept into my muscles as I guessed what he’d meant. “I’m a threat…to them.”
“They don’t have anything to worry about when it comes to you.” Vikter leaned over and touched my arm lightly. “But I know you and what’s in your heart. They don’t.”
“Shouldn’t they know what’s in my heart?” My fingers twisted the buttons. “They are Fates, after all.”
“That doesn’t mean they know you like that,” he countered evenly.
I looked away, my gaze fastening on the window. “What do they think I’ll do? They’re Fates.”As in Ancients, I silently added. “And—”
“And you’re the Primal of Blood and Bone.”
