"What the fuck is it to you?"
She slammed the car door and sat one of the very many Chanel purses I bought in her lap. If her punk ass daddy wanted money for his campaign trail, he could've just broken into our house and stolen all her purses. That probably would've given him at least three hundred thousand alone. Shid, with that thought running across my mind, I couldn't help but think maybe he was the person actually behind the kidnapping that cost me half a million. That would make a lot of sense and is something for me to think about as well.
When I pulled off from the parking spot, Cashmier was only quiet for a couple of blocks.
"Where are we going, Hov?"
"To the doctor."
"Uh, excuse me?"
She jerked her head and looked at me sideways.
"To the doctor for what?"
"Did you really just ask me that?"
"Yes, I did. Hov, I know you didn't make me a doctor's appointment without my knowledge."
"I did, and you welcome."
"Why did you do that? You can't make decisions for my body."
"I can when my child is inside of it. I don't know what the fuck you were waiting on."
"I told you my concerns on finding a good doctor, but I am confused about yours."
"Confused?"
"You claim to care so much about this kid, but you stayed out with God knows who last night. What are you going to bring me home, a disease that you get from one of these Brooklyn or Harlem chicken heads you fucking with? Is that your plan?"
I laughed on the inside because my lil chicken head was actually from the Bronx.
"Cash, you don't have to worry about any of that happening. I'm not going to bring any disease back to you. Never have and I never will."
"That's good. As long as you keep using condoms, then I don't care?"
"Nah, I'm just not going to fuck you anymore. That part of our relationship is over. We have to dead that shit."
"Wow, so that's what you do, Hov. You put a fuckin baby inside of me and now I'm trash to you! That's so fucked up! I fucking hate you fucking dog!"
"I did not say that you were trash. I don't want to string a relationship on between us when all we have to do is coparent correctly. I'll be there for you and my child, but I'm not going to bring him or her into a home we built on a lie! I can't do it anymore, and I won't be doing it. You know I will never do no shit I don't want to do so except it and let's move fuckin forward, alright?”
My honesty was coming from a point of respect for Ciara. I can't claim her as mine when I knew I wasn't all hers. Life is too short for me to sit around pretending to want to be with someone when the connection is gone. I'm just going to pray for their health and live my best life with the person I think is best for me. The person whose face I can't get out of my mind, and whose voice I can't get out of my head.
"So, what is the bitch's name? Huh! If you are going to leave me to be with someone else and expect my child to ever be around you, I have to know the bitch's name!"
"Cash, you not trying to hear that shit. Just let it go."
"No, I'm dead ass. What's her name? I fucking deserve to know!"
I exhaled for the moment and then figured, why not be completely honest with her?
"Alright, her fucking name is Ciara, and she isn't the only reason we grew apart. She's just the reason I want to finally draw a line with you. The reason I'm done with this faking and shaking shit! Alright? You happy?"
"Wow."
Her head leaned back against the headrest, and she took her fingers up to her eyes to keep tears from falling. I tried to reach out for her hand because seeing her cry did make me feel bad.
