"It's just my mama. She's tripping on me as usual."
"Damn, why?"
"Well, for one, we are not really close because she worked on destroying my confidence my entire childhood. I didn't even know I was pretty until men started telling me once I got older."
"So, you had one of those mamas who hate on their daughters. Why are women that way? Shit, I never felt like my pops was competing with me coming up. If anything, I felt like he wanted me to be better than him."
"Yeah, well, it's very different for us girls and our moms sometimes. My mama thought I would make the same mistakes as her or even more. She called me fast off the smallest shit."
"Were you?"
"I had one boyfriend my entire life, which I married. But my mama treated me like I was going to go out and get gang banged by the football team if she let me out of the house for too long. She was always checking my phone, checking social media, and taking me to the doctor to get checked before I admitted to having sex. It was crazy growing up with her. Wait, am I talking too much?"
"Nah, keep going. I am learning about you instead of the latest purse Chanel dropped."
Her smile spread wide across her face. Even with a slight overbite, her teeth were still perfect.
"Well, anyway, to make a long story short, I love my mother, but we are not as close as I wish we could be because of the way she is. I learned a lot from her, but there are things I learned not to do because of her, also."
"That's good. Just move forward and treat your daughter better than your mom treated you."
"Of course I will. I hope that my daughter will know that I think the world of her and not that she ruined mine. But what about your mama? Are you two close?"
"Yeah, as close as we can be. We used to be like Batman and Robin when I was younger. If she was rocking, I was rolling and vice versa. See, she was the opposite of your mom; she was patient as hell with me and gentle, unlike my pops. She used to be my heart as a kid."
"Aww, so happened as you got older? You two just grew apart?"
"Nah. I wouldn't say that."
I paused while fastening the links on my watch.
"Well, what happened? Wait, is she dead? I'm sorry."
"Nah."
"If I'm being honest with you, my mama is in prison right now for having my father shot twenty-two times in front of my grandma's house when I was a kid. They hit him in the heart, and he survived, though his heart never fully recovered, which is why he had a heart attack at a young age."
"Damn, so why did she get him hit up?"
"Jealousy."
I replied, and she started twiddling with her fingers.
"Sorry, didn't mean to put a cloud over the conversation."
"No, it's okay. Trust me. You are not the only one. There are things that I've been through that I don't even want to remember for myself. Sometimes it's best to put things in the past and move forward without the stress of the past, ya feel me."
"Yes, totally, I agree."
Ciara walked up behind me and put her chest to my back.
"Hov, can I say something?"
"Spill it."
I turned around and kissed her on her forehead.
I know you said you want me in your life, but how far would you go to keep me?"
