“Yes, but it’s my duty as your husband to help you.”Iwinked at her, eliciting a chuckle before she rolled her eyes at me.
Manny andIwere called into the boss’s office to let us know someone from the gang unit reported that word on the street was that thePaganoFamilywanted us dead so that whenJoeyPaganoappealed his verdict, we wouldn’t be there to testify again.
The captain was pulling us off active duty for the time being to lessen our chances of being caught in this mess.Ihad also asked him aboutAce.Itwasn’t just me.Ihad a wife to think about now.
Growing up, my mom andIbriefly had extra police officers and security guards while my dad was running for a senate seat because an angry man had threatened my father.Yearslater, my uncleFrankhad told me it was because my father had slept with the man’s wife, and he blamed my father for their marriage falling apart.Oncethe man saw how well-protected my father was, he decided to go after my mother.
My father—more concerned about the story making the news—had almost gotten my mother killed by not protecting her.Aweek later, the man almost succeeded by shooting at my mother while she was out running errands.Aweek after that, my mom andIwere shipped toGeorgiato stay with my aunt and uncle for the summer.Asa kid,I’dloved it, getting to spend more time with my cousin.Asan adult,Istill struggled with how my father failed to protect my mother.
I wasn’t going to do that withAce.
“You’ve got a few options,”CaptainKerrigansaid. “Ican assign a plainclothes officer to follow you both, orIcan put all three of you into a safe house.”
“I don’t need a safe house, butIwon’t answer forArcher,”Mannyresponded. “Dowe even know if this threat is real or just a smokescreen fromPagano?”
He was right, and if it were just me,Ilikely would be doing the same thing he was, butIhadAcenow.Itold the boss she was planning to move soon and start a new job, so we would take the plainclothes protection for now, and once she moved we could decide what to do then.Plus, that would giveKerrigana few more days to dig into the threat.
* * *
The next few days were a blur.
HelpingAcepack for her new job, fucking like rabbits, and looking into the threat fromPagano.Ishould have spent more time on the latter.MaybeifIhad,Mannywouldn’t be dead, andIwouldn’t be sitting here at the attorney’s office signing divorce papers.DivorcepapersIdidn’t want to sign but had to ifIwanted to saveAnna’slife.
“You sign these, and we spread the word that your marriage was just a drunken mistake and both of you regret it now,” the captain said. “I’vealready reached out to theBakersfieldPD, and they’ve agreed to put a plainclothes officer on her for two months, just in casePagano’screw suspects otherwise.”
I hated it.Withevery fiber of my being,Ihated it, butIknew it was the right choice.Mannywas dead because of thePaganos.Iwouldn’t let them get toAce.
I signed the papers and spent the next few weeks inGeorgiawith my aunt and uncle, hiding out but also wallowing in my misery.
The only bright spot from that trip was hearing that any talk of killingAceor me had all but disappeared now thatPagano’sappeal was denied.Oh, andIdecided to start up a new company with my cousin and hopefully move toGeorgiaby the end of the year.
11
ANNA
PRESENT
For years,I’dthoughtArcherhad abandoned me just like my mother and father had.Ithought he had simply changed his mind and just filed for divorce without a care in the world as to how it would make me feel.
But all this time, he had done itbecausehe cared.Hehadn’t changed his mind, but rather done it to save my life.
I grappled with these thoughts constantly over the past twelve hours sinceArcherhad told me.
He’d filled me in on what his former captain had told him—at the time of our random nuptials, we weren’t alone.OneofJoeyPagano’smen had been ordered to followArcherandMannyafter the trial ended.Thatman sawArcherdrunkenly take me to the chapel and get married, effectively putting a target on both our heads.Healso told me more details aboutManny’sdeath and how he felt the only way to protect me was to stay away from me completely, thereby keeping me off thePaganos’ radar.
My emotions were all over the place.Iwas torn.Onone hand,Iwas pissed that he hadn’t given me this information so that we could have made an informed decision together.Onthe other hand,Iwas flattered and saddened that he would do that for me.Butas soon asIwould start to feel sympathy for him,Iwould get angry again and want to yell at him for leaving me like my birth parents had.
People who grew up in normal families didn’t understand it.Whenyou grew up in foster care or were adopted, you always had questions in the back of your mind about why your family didn’t want you.Iwas nearly twenty-eight years old, and on occasion,Istill thought about where my birth mother was, what she was doing.EventhoughIended up in a loving foster home, which turned into a great adoptive family, much of my childhood was spent questioning whatIcould have done differently to make her keep me.
After that, every timeIlost a friend, a significant other, or even a job, those questions started to come back again because the loss hit me deeper.Thiswas becauseIhonestly didn’t have any memories of my biological mother and father sinceIwas so young when they left.Butas an adult, you formed solid friendships and bonds with people, and those memories were fresher.
I wanted to tellArcher, imagine you spent your whole childhood thinking that your mother never wanted you and gave you up for adoption…only to find out years later that your mom actually died in childbirth or a car accident, and that she loved you very much.Thatwas whatIfelt like right now.Mybeliefs about whatIthoughtArcherhad done were completely wrong.
The emotionsI’dgone through after believing something for so long, only to find outI’dbeen wrong, had created a rollercoaster in my brain.
That had been me for the past twelve hours.Ihad already gone through all the stages of grief withArcher.Sadnessand depression from him just walking away from our marriage, to relief thatIwouldn’t have stayed married to someone who didn’t love me and waste years of my life, and then anger and rage for him just giving up.I’dalso gone through the questioning phase—the part where you question everything you’ve ever done because what if it was my fault.
I’d tossed and turned all night last night.Ithought about what he’d said. “Iloved you, soIdivorced you to save your life."NowIhad to spend the day with him—and his friends, no less—after he’d dropped that bomb last night.
