Remy
After hardly sleeping, I sat up at dawn with the tiny snuggle bug, Kelsey, curled in my arms. As quietly as possible, I carried her to her own bed and smoothed back the curls from her face. She’d climbed up into my bed during the night after a disturbance—shouting and a scuffle—from the direction of the men’s dormitory, followed by some awful moaning sounds. It was over with quickly, but left me feeling edgy. Several of us women had sat straight up and listened. Nights were so quiet. It was bizarre to hear any sort of commotion.
I’d been unable to sleep even before that, caught between wondering what I’d been thinking to lose my mind with Tater like that yesterday, and then marveling at every single touch we’d shared. The way he’d looked at me, like I was all that mattered, the only person in the world. My heart ached remembering that look, and I shoved every single feeling away. Men muddled the mind. I had to keep a clear head.
Linette was going to ask Tater at breakfast what had happened over at the men’s block, since I needed to keep my distance in front of the guards. They’d all seen us come out of the field. Thankfully, I found out from Linette that the meeting had just started, but she told me last night in the bathroom that we’d both looked “freshly fucked” when we came running out of the cornfield. Nice.
“It’ll either drive him to jealousy, or make him be done with you,”she’d said.“On one hand you might have helped our operation, and on the other . . . you screwed your chance to win him over. Therefore you screwedme—”She’d come forward like she was contemplating choking me, but two guards unknowingly saved me by checking the room, and giving me a chance to leave.
What’s done was done.
I stealthily searched for Tater as I came in, and saw him in the far corner, sitting alone with his plate of food, staring off but looking oddly relaxed. Okay.
Little Ronaldo came in behind Kelsey and me, and I cocked my head at the boy.
“Hey, I thought you’d be with Jacob,” I said.
He looked up at me with glistening brown eyes. “He had a bloody nose and he didn’t want to talk to me.”
Acid slid up my throat and I swallowed it down. Was that the commotion from last night? It was too coincidental that he’d be in an altercation. Paranoia rose up. It had something to do with us.
“I’m sorry. You can get in line with me and sit with us if you want.”
He nodded and followed me, walking quietly beside Kelsey. My hands trembled as I took the tray. I ushered the kids in front of me and Linette slid into line behind us. I whispered under my breath what Ronaldo told me.
“There’s your answer,” she said stiffly. “Congratulations. He’s under suspicion.”
The acid was back, and harder to swallow now. The watery grits on my plate nearly made me vomit right there. How could I have been so reckless? For once, why couldn’t I have controlled myself?
The kids and I went one way, and Linette headed for Tater’s table. We sat quietly, and it drove me crazy that I couldn’t see from where I was. I knew I needed to eat; we were given very little, so nobody’s body could afford to skip a meal, but my stomach was not having it. I waited for the guards to look the other direction, and I scooped mine into Ronaldo and Kelsey’s bowls. They stared at me, surprised, and I forced a small smile.
“Go ahead. Eat up.”
They gladly dug in, and I concentrated on my breathing. What would happen to Tater? Would he be able to control his emotions enough to fly under the radar until the suspicion waned? I needed to see the Senator. I could reassure him. Even flirt with him. I would do whatever it took.
Oh, shit, shit, shit. I couldn’t stop shaking.
When we got up to put our trays away, Linette walked past me and bumped my arm.
“Room. Now,” she whispered.
I handed off the children to one of the women working in the kitchen, and kept my head down as I walked the dusty footpath to the women’s building. The guard who usually escorted me to the vehicle was waiting there.
“One moment, please,” I told him. “I forgot something.”
He gave me a silent glare, and I rushed past, closing the door behind me.
Linette came straight up, inches from my face, looking like a wild animal.
“They gave him the fucking worm,” she hissed.
The world rocked beneath my feet. I covered my mouth and tried to stay balanced. Then I was shaking my head, shaking it, shaking it, because no. No.
“Yes, little dark angel,” Linette whispered vehemently. “Youdid this.”
“Shut up!” Pure, crazed anger rushed into every blood vessel, every pore of my body, and I grabbed her shirt in my fists, shoving her until we ran into a trunk and fell into a heap of limbs on the floor. A scream wrenched from my throat as she yanked my hair.
“Get off me, you crazy bitch!” she said. I couldn’t let go of her shirt. It was like my fists were rusted into that position, and my face was snarling. A scream tore from my throat as I completely lost control of myself.
