“Of course you don’t,” Remy said. “You never want to talk to me, or anyone else, about anything of actual importance.” Her eyes were full of hurt and anger, which bounced around inside of me before seeping in.
“What the hell’s going on over here?” Tater asked. I couldn’t do this right now.
“I’m getting another drink.” I staggered away from them.
“Hey, Amber Tate!” A soldier held up a hand and I high-fived him on my second try. All along the way to the bar people greeted me with smiles. They weren’t angry at me. They treated me nice. But still I felt like shit, and I wanted it all to go away. I sucked at life.
“Pepper.” His voice came from behind me, filling me with a stubborn frustration.
I made it to the bar and Devon grinned. “One more, baby girl?”
“A shot,” I said. “I don’t care what it is.”
“Amber.” Rylen was right next to me now. I didn’t look at him, but his presence wrapped around me.
Devon slid the shot forward. This one was clear.
“Don’t do it.” Rylen’s plea near my ear sounded more like a warning. All I could see was Linette up against him, garnering his complete attention this entire night.
I shot it back. It tasted like rubbing alcohol, making my stomach roll. I closed my eyes and slowly opened them.
“Uh-oh,” Devon said. “One too many?”
“I’m good.” At least, that’s what I thought I said. And when I gave a big thumbs up, teetering sideways, he laughed a little too hard.
“Come on,” Rylen said.
I stepped closer and peered up at him. “Gonna dance with me now?”
“No.”
He took my hand and I blindly followed until we were out in the hall and I realized he was making me leave. I came to a halt like a donkey digging my heels in. “Not goin’ bed.”
“Amber, come on. Yes, you are.”
I faced him with my hands on my hips. “Don’t you . . . don’t try to . . .” What the hell was I trying to say? It didn’t matter, because next thing I knew Rylen swept me up into his arms like a big baby and started marching down the hall. I swung my legs, ready to throw a fit until I heard his gentle voice saying, “Sh. It’s all right. Relax, Pepper, I got you.”
I lay my head on his shoulder and barely registered the gentle bouncing of his steps up the stairs and down our hall. A minute later I felt him touch my butt, pulling my key from my back pocket. He kicked the door closed behind us and set me on the bed. I started to snuggle down, then shot to my feet, disoriented, as I remembered this bedtime was being forced upon me. I stumbled toward the wall. He caught me by the middle of my shirt, holding the material in his fist, and walked me backward until I was against the wall.
“Relax,” he said. “You’re all right.”
Our aloneness tightened around me like a bubble of hyperawareness.
“Ry,” I whispered. My hands went to his biceps, warm and solid. He closed his eyes and opened them again slowly.
“You’ve probably said enough for tonight,” he whispered back.
He was trying to shush me. I shook my head, and it was like slow motion, as if I my skull were rocking back and forth on a ship.
“I’ve lot mores to say.” I could hear the slur in my words, the ridiculousness of my lack of control, but I focused on Rylen’s pursed, full lips and a sensation of desire overrode the amusement.
He let go of my shirt and put his hands loosely on his hips. “You need to go to bed.”
“No.” I poked him in the hard chest and leaned forward too fast. I pressed both palms to his chest to balance myself. “God, Rylen” I said, feeling the contours of his pecs and watching my hands as I explored. It took a great deal of effort to lift my heavy head and look into his tired eyes. The comfort of that bluish gray tint was something I wanted to nestle down into. I rose up on my toes and moved my face close to his. So close, I could feel his breaths against my own lips.
“Pepper.” Rylen took both my hands from his chest and brought them back down to my sides, putting me firmly back on my feet.
“I love you,” I said softly.
