Remy said, “Thank God it’s winter and not summer when we’re sweating to death.” She opened a box that had toiletries in it and pulled out a box of condoms. I rolled my eyes at Dad’s forethought.
“These would’ve come in handy . . .” Remy’s voice trailed off and her cheeks turned bright pink as she shoved the condoms back into the box and closed the lid.
My eyes bugged. “You and Tater didn’t use anything?”
Her flushed cheeks did not lighten and she wouldn’t look at me. “I got the shot.”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t protect you from diseases.” Who knew what the hell my crazy brother did while he was overseas with the Army?
“He said he always used protection. With others.”
Wow. I couldn’t believe they even had a conversation that night before hooking up, as drunk as they were. And ew, I didn’t want to think about it anymore.
“Don’t worry,” Remy said, heaving the box out of the trunk. “It won’t be happening again.”
Okay then. I couldn’t get a reading on her feelings about that statement as she walked away, so I let it go and grabbed the case of water. I would use two bottles to make the last of the coffee today. One final hurrah before we left this place.
I didn’t look at anyone when we made it up to camp, though I could feel their eyes on me. I set to work pouring water into the kettle and readying all of the cups with half a scoop of the coffee powder. Emotion welled up within me when I scraped the bottom for the last dregs. I really had to stop getting emotional over coffee. I needed to conserve the water in my body and not cry it all out.
“You really don’t gotta do that,” Texas Harry’s voice rumbled. I looked over and he nodded toward the gas fire I was lighting. “That’s yours. We appreciate your sharing the past couple days, but you should keep what’s left for you.”
I shook my head. “We’re in this together. One last treat for all of us before we hit the road.”
“Well, that’s mighty nice.”
“Yeah,” said Matt. “Real nice.”
“Hella nice.” Mark earned himself a smack to the back of the head from Texas Harry.
These guys . . . they were always cutting up, keeping it light, but today’s banter felt heavy. No smiles.
“When’s the last time you saw your families?” I asked. The men’s eyes jolted to me.
Tall Mark, with his long, slender frame, kicked a rock and shoved his hands in his pockets. His brown hair stuck out straight, overgrown. “I was in San Diego over the summer for my mom’s birthday. So, six months ago. And I talked to her three days before the bombs.” The bombs on D.C. and other major cities had dropped on Thanksgiving. He cleared his throat and toed another rock. “I’m sure they’re okay. And my sister’s family. They live close to each other.”
We were all quiet.I’m sure they’re okay.Did he really believe that? Or was he just trying to give himself hope?
I looked up at Matt. He was the shortest, only a couple inches taller than me, but his wide back and shoulders, paired with his squared face, made him plenty masculine. His dark-blond hair had grown thick. He and all the guys had scruffy faces. He caught my eye.
“I was with my folks on Thanksgiving in St. Louis, and I took my dad’s car to get back to base in Arizona since the airports closed. I never made it back to them, but . . .” He swallowed hard. “Yeah, I’m going to find them once things settle. I’m sure they’re okay.”
Oh, Matt. He dropped his gaze to the ground.
“Same,” said Texas Harry in a rough voice. “My pop wouldn’t fall for that roundup shit. He probably got Mama in the cellar when those fuckers came through.”
His words rubbed me harshly, and Tater too, because my brother said, “My dad didn’tfallfor anything. He was just trying to keep everyone safe until we could figure it out—”
“Sorry, man.” Texas Harry stood, holding up his palms. “I meant no offense. I wasn’t thinking . . .” Tex ran a hand down his patchy facial growth and sighed. Tater turned away.
My hands shook as I pretended to focus on the cups in front of me, lining them up. The lean redheaded Air Force officer, Sean, came over and squatted next to me.
“What can I do?”
“Sean . . .” I had to know. “What about your parents?”
His jaw clenched. “They haven’t talked to me in years. Since I . . . came out.” He glanced up at the other guys, his auburn-scruffed jaw clenching, as if daring them to say something. Nobody reacted. Either they already figured, or they didn’t care. I glanced at Remy and she gave me anI told you sonodas Sean continued. “But I have an older sister in Seattle who I’m close with. She’s the one I’m worried about. I was near Vegas visiting . . . a friend. I left for Nellis Air Force Base when the bombs hit, got turned away, and when I came back my friend’s whole neighborhood was empty. I can only assume he’s dead now.”
My eyes fluttered closed and back open. I looked over at Josh with his Italian features, sitting with his legs wide, poking the ground with a stick. “Nah,” he said. “It’s been two years. I’m that asshole kid who uses his leave to party instead of visiting his family in upstate New York.” He gave an ill-humored laugh and shook his dark head. “I got two nieces and three nephews. My brother owns a sandwich shop . . .” He poked the ground harder, his lips tightly sealed now.
