Chapter 37
Lumi
They die…
His words settle into me like ice, spreading until it’s invaded all the comfort I felt seconds before.
I have so many questions. So many things to ask, but I don’t know where to start.
“I know because it’s happened before. I loved someone, and they died because of it,”he says into my head.
I look up at him with wide, sad eyes, still unable to speak.
“When you realize what your curse is, you’ll know deep in your soul the truth of it. There is no doubt. You feel it in every bone of your body. So, saying your curse is that you can’t shift isn’t true. You would have no doubt if it were.”
I rake my teeth over my bottom lip, wanting to find the right words.
“I’m sorry.”
I frown.“For what? It’s a curse. You didn’t ask for this.”
He pauses as if waiting for me to figure out why I should be angry with him.“For wanting you. For letting things between us get this far. For letting you in. For giving you hope. For wanting you despite never being able to give you more. For not telling you my curse from the beginning.”
“You still think we are mates?”
He nods.
“I do, too. There was nothing you could do to stop this. Nothing. We were predestined. If I have to die—”
“NO!” he growls aloud.“No, you won’t die. I won’t let you.”
“But that means…”
“I’ll never let myself love you. I’ll never fall fully for you. I can like you. I can fuck you. I can be a good mate. But that’s it. I won’t allow myself to love you, to kill you. Not until we are successful in breaking the curse.”
I hold my breath at his words.“Can you really do that? Not fall in love with your mate?”
Moisture fills his eyes.“I’ll have to. The alternate is more than I can bear.”
What is the line between caring about someone and loving them? And how close is Ambrose already to that line?
I can’t think about that. I can’t think about the fact that this man holds my fate in his hands. That if he can’t stop himself from loving me, I die. And if he succeeds, then I spend a lifetime with a man who can never love me, unless we break the curse.
“What happens if I fall in love with you?” I ask quietly out loud.
“Nothing. You’d make me the happiest man on earth, despite the fact that I don’t deserve to be loved.”
I let out a rattled breath. That was what I was most afraid of, I realize. Not him loving me, but me falling for him.
“Who knows your curse?”
“Just you. No one else knows what my curse is.”
My eyes widen at that, but his hand strokes my cheek, touching me for the first time since he started this conversation.
There’s a tenderness, a vulnerability in his eyes.“I should let you go.”
“Impossible,” I say.
