“He and Emeric left while you were showering.”
I frown. “Ambrose didn’t want to wish me luck or tell me goodbye before he left?”
“Maybe he would have if you didn’t take an hour-long shower,” Rowena chuckles.
I shoot her a dirty look. “Well, maybe I wouldn’t have taken that long if I knew what I was getting myself into. You guys have told me practically nothing about what initiation entails.”
Rowena sighs. “I would tell you if I could.”
“But you can’t.” I take a couple of steps toward her, not even bothering to look at myself one last time in the mirror. I’m wearing black leather pants with a grey T-shirt and a black leather jacket. Black combat boots are waiting for me to put onto complete my ensemble. Rowena picked out my entire outfit, which is my only clue as to what I might be facing tonight.
She straightens my jacket and takes a deep breath herself, like she’s holding something back.
“I don’t want you to tell me. I know it goes against pack rules to tell an outsider anything about your initiation process. I don’t want the pack to exile you.”
“You don’t have to worry about that. I couldn’t even if I wanted to—alpha command and all that.”
“Ambrose was the one who came up with the rule about initiation?” I raise my eyebrows.
“It’s for the best, trust me. Even if I could tell you, I’m not sure you should know ahead of time.”
“It’s that bad, huh?” I chuckle, trying to lighten the mood as I push past her.
She grabs my arm, turning me back toward her.
“It is—it might be the hardest thing you have ever gone through.”
I think about losing my father. About never knowing my mother. About Kael being taken by Nyx. About being Ambrose’s mate and not being able to shift.
She sees the pain I’ve experienced racing through the blue in my eyes. “But then again, you’re not an ordinary shifter. You’re stronger than all of us.” She smiles softly. “I think you’ll initiate into the Moonlight pack just fine.”
I clench my jaw and nod at her. “I will.”
We both head to the living room and slip on our shoes. As I’m lacing my boots up, Rowena speaks up.
“I can say this. Initiation is nothing about being able to shift or not. It has very little to do with being a wolf shifter and more to do with having the spirit of the Moonlight wolves. We’re known for our bravery, our cunningness, our strength. We’re known as leaders among the packs. We’re the guiding light. Thepack just wants to make sure you fit those qualities before you join.”
“Thank you,” I say, even though I’m not sure if anything she said was helpful or not. “I am surprised initiation doesn’t have to happen on the full moon, though.”
“For most packs, that’s the case, but as long as there is moonlight out, then it’s enough for our pack. We’re that powerful.” She winks at me.
I laugh and roll my eyes at her. My face immediately drops when I see the sun setting out the window. Initiation is about to start as soon as the sun fully dips below the horizon.
“I wish I could go with you,” Rowena starts.
“It’s okay. I need to do this on my own.” I lick my lips, and my eyes narrow in determination.
And then Rowena runs up behind me and hugs me tightly. “The next time I see you, you’ll be a full member of the Moonlight wolves. Then you can know everything. There will be no secrets. You’ll get your wolf soon after, I’m sure of it. And then I’ll be bowing down to you as my alpha queen.”
I roll my eyes but hug her back, already feeling like she’s a sister to me.
Finally, she releases me after the hug goes on a little too long, and I start to feel some of her anxiety for me that she’s been trying to hide.
“You’ve got this,” she says, but I can hear the fear in her voice for me. It only drives me.
I don’t look back as I walk out the door and follow the directions into the woods behind Ambrose’s house. I don’t think about what awaits me. I’m confident that I’m as prepared as I can be to face it.
I shiver as the sun begins to fully set and the last streams of sunlight turn to shadows. The air quickly turns cool, but it will still be a few hours until the moon fully rises in the sky.
