“I’m recovering from a gunshot wound. Of course I’m hurting.” I rolled my eyes, ignoring the last part of what he said whileI pushed past him back into my room. As I did, he reached out and grabbed my arm, pulling me back to face him. His palm was hot against my skin.
“You keep telling me you’re fine, but you’re not. It’s going to blow back in all our faces if you’re not careful.”
“Iknow,” I said, voice dropping low. I yanked my arm from his grasp. “I know I’m ruining everything. I know I have to keep it together. Trust me, I’m trying.”
“You’re not—That’s not what I—” He swallowed, huffing in frustration, throat working as he struggled to form the words. “You’re not ruining anything except yourself.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“You’re running yourself into the ground, Wynn. You’re not letting yourself heal. Mentally and physically. What happened to you was horrible, and you’ve barely given yourself a second to process it.”
I scoffed. “I’m completely fine.”
I’d had plenty of time sitting in my room, reliving the moment Leona was thrown into a trunk and taken from me. I’d processed more than enough of that day.
If that wasn’t enough, my past had been playing on a loop behind my eyes whenever I had a moment to myself. The day Willow and I were taken. The first time they separated us. The first time someone had bought me. The first time I stabbed someone, the blood running red over my hands.
The first time I’d saved a trafficking victim, and how redeeming that had felt.
I’d been chasing that feeling ever since.
“Is that why you snuck out, then? Because you’refine?”
I took a deep breath, running my hands through my hair and trying to get a handle on my emotions. I turned on my heel, stomping to my closet and grabbing one of my shirts. I pulled it on.
“I will be fine when we’ve dealt with them.”
He followed me around the room, refusing to give me the space I so desperately needed.
“Or you’ll hurt yourself even more.” He grabbed my arm again, eyes flicking to mine. “You’ll hurt the people who care about you.”
I couldn’t count the amount of times I’d let down the people who cared about me. At what point were they going to stop caring?
I couldn’t afford to find out. I couldn’t afford any more mistakes.
He stared at me, those ice blue eyes unflinching despite how I tried to run. His body crowded mine, pushing closer as if he could physically break down my barriers.
“What happened to the Ciel that used to be too afraid to come out of his room?” I asked softly. It wasn’t the first time I thought about how much he’d changed.
“She happened,” he said. I flinched as his fingers curled around mine. “And you brought her to us. You fought for her from day one, forcing us all to pay attention to what she could do for us.”
I swallowed, unable to meet his gaze.
“I haveyouto thank for that, Wynn. You catalyzed this change in us. In me.”
I looked up, wanting to argue, to deny that I had anything to do with the magnificence that was Leona Vero, but the look in his eyes stopped my breath.
He stared at my lips, eyes low. “I can’t let you keep hurting yourself. It hurts me too.”
“I don’t know how.”
“Let me in,” he pleaded. “Let her in.”
He made it sound soeasy. But I knew the reality. Letting them in wouldn’t change anything. The only path forward was clear.
I rocked toward him just a hairsbreadth, as if someone was tightening the invisible tether between us.
He moved forward slowly enough that I had more than enough time to stop him or turn my head or do anything to show that I didn’t want this. But Idid. I wanted it so badly. I wanted the comfort he offered. I wanted the freedom to just let it all go.
