I nodded before turning my head to the window to watch the bare trees whizz past the window.
Uncle’s house was bustling. I barely said anything as man after man gave me their condolences and swore their loyalty to the Family on my behalf. I only took a few bites of food before giving up. It didn’t taste like anything.
All I wanted to do was escape back to our house. After a few hours of pretending to be comforted, I told Uncle I was going home. He’d looked at me in surprise, telling me I would move in with him and Leona. His house was supposed to be my home now.
I shook my head, thanking him for the offer. I couldn’t give up what used to be our home. When we were together and happy. I slipped out of the house without even saying good night to Leona, but she’d understand.
“Hey,” Cas said from behind me while I walked. We didn’t live very far, but I wanted the time to clear my head. Plan. Think about how I was going to avenge my father.
“You can stay, Cas,” I said, glancing over my shoulder. “I’m just going home.”
“I’m coming with you.”
“You should stay with Leona.”
The illuminated mansion loomed behind us, like even it was resentful that I left. “She’ll be okay. Don Vero is here. The whole Family is here. I think you need me more.”
I shoved my hands into my pockets. Truthfully, the idea of being alone sounded horrible, but I also couldn’t stand any more meaningless condolences and best wishes for the future. I had no desire to talk about it. Papa had taught me to be strong. But the silence was grating. It was a reminder that I was alone.
Uncle refused to talk to me about any plans to avenge Papauntil after the funeral. He’d said we’d needed to focus on the Family first, and vengeance would come later. I got the impression he didn’t want to think about it, but it was theonlything I could think about.
Maybe Cas could plan something with me. Papa had taught me to think with my head. If no one else would, then I would.
“Fine. You’re driving.”
A lopsided grin plastered itself on his face as he lifted his hand. Keys hung from his pointer finger. “Alessio said I could borrow his car.”
“Don’t wreck it.”
“Don’t tempt me.”
The ride back to my house was quiet, and we arrived quickly despite the snow blanketing the roads. Every thought, every plan I tried to make, was like sand slipping through my fingers. I couldn’t catch any of it, and Cas seemed to recognize I didn’t need conversation to fill the void in my chest.
It helped to have him there. The house was so cold. Empty.
But the idea of leaving? Moving in with Uncle and Leona?
No. I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t leave Mamma and Papa’s memories behind. We’d beenhappyhere. Mamma used to bake pastries in the kitchen. Papa used to chase me around the living room.
I couldn’t abandon them the same way they’d abandoned me.
That wasn’t fair.
They’d beentakenfrom me. Both of them.
We got vengeance for my mother, and it had helped. And now Uncle, Cas, and I needed to get vengeance for Papa.
This was our life. This was what it meant to be part of the mafia. Papa had tried to warn me that this life required careful thought and planning to survive. But look how that had turned out for him?
I didn’t want this life for Leona. She deserved better.
Cas grabbed a bottle of liquor from Papa’s stash in the wet bar. He lifted it up. “You want a drink?”
With a heavy sigh, I slumped onto the couch in the family room. “We’re fifteen.”
He rolled his eyes. “We’ve had plenty of drinks with your dad and the Don. We’re the men of the Family now. We might as well.” He grabbed two glasses and uncapped the bottle. “Plus, I know you’re not sleeping. You look like shit, and this might help you pass out.”
I took the outstretched glass. “I’m trying not to be offended.”
