“Let me talk to him,” I said to Obi. “I don’t think he’ll talk to all of us at once.”
“Who the fuck cares what he wants?” Ryuji said. “We’llmakehim talk.”
I sighed. “That won’t work. He’s a stubborn fuck. He’d just sit there and stare at you.”
“Find out why he’s here, and then get him out,” Obi said. “I want peace when she wakes up.”
I nodded and turned back around. Max waited patiently in the kitchen, sitting at the island with his hands in his pockets.
“Come with me,” I said, leading him outside to the balcony. It was just big enough for a few people to stand and overlook the city. He followed without complaint. Obi and Ryuji watched from the living room, their arms crossed over their chests.
“What the fuck was that?” I asked when the door shut behind us. I leaned my forearms on the railing, and he did the same beside me. It felt suspiciously like our old lives, looking over the patio at the Vero estate, and it unsettled the shit out of me.
“It appeared to be a panic attack,” Max answered, needing no other context.
“No shit.” I rubbed my eyes. I’d never seen her so terrified. Her face had been so pale, her breaths so short. As soon as Max sat down with her, she got a handle on it. I couldn’t decide if I wanted to hug him or strangle him. “Why didyouhelp with that?”
He looked at his hands. “On the ship with the Albanians, after they’d beaten her, the only way I got her to calm down was to talk about our mothers. Our childhood. I’m guessing the cages triggered the memories again.”
Thecages. Hollow cracks splintered down my chest. She still hadn’t told us any of this. We’d seen her bloody handprint near the room with the cage on the boat, but hearing him say it…I was going to be sick.
Was it only the cages?
Or had something else she saw triggered her?
“What happened on the ship?”
He gave me a sideways glance, like he was surprised I didn’t know. His lips pursed slightly. “It’s not my place to tell. But youknow they hurt her. They would have hurt her even worse if she didn’t have that knife or recognize the signal jammer.”
I clenched my eyes shut, trying to keep my emotions in check. I had to talk to the guys about this. I wasn’t sure how much longer we could wait for her to bring it up. Something told me she’d clam up even more after tonight.
Whatever happened to her was festering inside her.
“She won’t tell us.”
His jaw clenched. “All I will say is I wish I could have done more.”
“Fuck, Max.” Why wouldn’t she tell us? Why did it piss me off that he knew the truth and we didn’t? And why did it make me feel so much better that at least she hadn’t gone through it alone? I dragged my hand down my face. “Tonight was good, but we can’t let up. We have to destroy them.”
We must have made a huge dent in their organization, but with Armir and Arion Vokshi alive, they would just keep coming back. They were like a weed, an infection. They had to be pulled out by the roots.
“What do you think I’m trying to do, Cas?” It was hardly a question with how exhausted he sounded.
“I have no clue,” I responded. “You stopped telling me shit years ago.”
His mask cracked, and a sliver of pain emerged. He leaned his head on the railing. “I will not apologize for my choices.”
“Did I fucking ask you to?” I snapped back. “It doesn’t matter. We’re here now, and all I care about is her. Helping her. Fixing her. Giving her everything she’s ever wanted. She deserves it all, and more.”
He sighed. “You were her bodyguard. You were supposed to keep her safe.”
I faced him, anger crackling down my nerves. “I do not needyouto tell me that. Not when you were the one putting her life injeopardy.” I smacked his chest with the back of my hand. “Not whenyouwere the one who tried to kill her multiple times.”
“I’ve made three mistakes in my life, and going after her is one of them,” he replied while planting his feet. He clenched his jaw, like he expected me to punch him in the face.
I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of pain right now.
“Yet you still won’t apologize,” I scoffed, turning back to look out over the city. As if an apology would fix all the hurt he caused us both. “Piece of shit.”
