The warmth of his hand reminded me of the warmth of his body pressed against mine.
I wanted them both. I knew that deep within my heart, I was made for them. Laying here together felt like the most natural thing in the world. We fit together like puzzle pieces.
“It would make me happy,” he breathed. “It would make her happy, too.”
I hadn’t felt happy in weeks, not since the morning we’d left the penthouse and I’d almost lost Leona forever. That day, I’d felt like anything was possible in our future. But now I could barely see a step in front of me. Sitting down, notdoing, not being consumed with getting rid of the Albanians, felt like a betrayal.
“You don’t have to do this alone,” Ciel continued. “Please. Neither of us could bear if you got hurt. Leona needs you.Ineed you.”
Would it be so bad to stay? If it would make them both happy?
That was all I ever wanted.
“Okay,” I murmured.
He closed his eyes, sighing in relief, then brought my fingers up to his lips and kissed the tips. My heart clenched painfully. “Thank you.”
I let go of his hand, cupping his cheek instead. He didn’t move as my fingers traced the shape of his jaw. My thumb brushed over his slight stubble, finding its way to the plumpness of his bottom lip. His breathing hitched slightly, but he kept his eyes closed. If he opened them now, the spell would break.
In the darkness of my room, with the two of them in my bed, something was happening.
For the first time in weeks, I felt the swirling tangle of emotions lodged underneath my sternum unravel. The tension in my shoulders loosened. I inhaled deeply, like I could finally breathe again after being trapped underwater.
My eyes closed. My hand found its way to the back of his head, and I left it there.
My fingers played with the fluffy edges of his hair, brushing against the back of his neck.
“I just want to make you happy.” I wasn’t even sure if the words carried sound.
He curled closer.
Tomorrow, we could follow up on Max’s leads.
Leona was still pressed between us, but when his arm found my waist over her body, I finally fell asleep.
41
LEONA
My ass was sore.
I woke up between Wynn and Ciel feeling good, except for the tender skin that ached in the hot water of the shower and whenever I sat down. After getting up and dressed for the day, I headed out to the living room. It was almost noon, but I didn’t see anyone else up and around yet, though I figured someone might be in the gym.
My head raced with memories of thepunishment.At first, I’d been pissed that Obi wanted tospankme, but then I’d completely melted. It felt so…good. Not just sexually, which was amazing and also frustrating that Obi wouldn’t fuck me fully yet, but also emotionally. There was nothing else inside my head except him.
I knew I liked Cas spanking me during sex, but this was different.
The box inside my chest felt silent. No rattling, no burying. The cold that had overtaken my bones ever since we got off the ship didn’t feel so biting.
I lay down on the couch and stared up at the ceiling. I needed to get my laptop and start working on VCI things for our gun smuggling, but this consumed my mind instead.
I wanted to talk about it, but not to the guys because speaking about this aloud would ruin it. The box may be silent now, but they’d ask questions I didn’t want to answer, and it wouldn’t last.
I pulled out my phone and brought up the girl’s group chat. I typed a message and sent it before I could talk myself out of it.
Leona: How do we feel about spanking?
Fallon’s response came immediately.
