“What’s going on?”
All four of them turned to look at me.
The only sound was the sink’s running water, and it felt like my words had broken some spell.
Was there something on my fucking face? Was I being stupid?
“What do you mean?” Leona asked, eyebrows furrowing.
I gestured to her, Ryuji, and Wynn. Something was up with Ciel, too, but he was too shy, so he escaped my fumbling frustration.
“This. You. Them.” My brain couldn’t form sentences.
She wiped her hands with a dishtowel. “Cas, let’s go talk.”
My heart started thundering so loud my ears were echoing.
A sudden and all-consuming fear gripped my throat.
Is this where she told me that she was good? She didn’t need me anymore because she had them? I thought we were together. She’d kissed me. I confessed. Had I made a huge fucking mistake?
44
CASPIAN
Leona closed the door softly behind her.
I had just barely made it to the bed before collapsing on top of it, the pain raging through my leg and my chest. Even when I got shot, I didn’t hurt like this.
I convinced myself it was the broken ribs.
It wasn’t my heart frozen in fear that this was where she’d decide to let me go. Somehow I hadn’t worked hard enough, proven myself worthy of being by her side.
My brain knew that couldn’t be true. It was just those fears rearing their ugly heads again. But my brain was also addled by a fucking concussion, and nobody could say I was thinking straight right now.
“What’s wrong?” she asked as she came to sit next to me on the bed.
I rested my head in my hands, trying to take deep, slow breaths. Seeing her with Wynn and Ryuji had rattled me. “I don’t know. I think I’m being stupid.”
Had she decided she didn’t feel about me the way I felt about her? She didn’t want me the same way I wanted her?
I’d lived through bullet holes and hammers to my knee, but I wasn’t sure I could live through that. Not when I’d already had a taste of her.
“Cas, just tell me.” She grabbed my hand and locked our fingers. “Is it about the guys?”
“Yes, it’s about the fuckingguys,” I growled. She raised an eyebrow and pursed her beautifully red lips as she looked at me with disapproval. “Sorry. I know. I’m just… confused.”
She stared at where our hands were joined. “Because you can see how I like them.”
“I can see how you like them and howtheylike you.” I scoffed at my own words. “I sound like a fucking high schooler.You like them, they like you, I’m mad.”
“Before we talk about this, you need to know that you and me? We’re forever, Cas. Always.” She squeezed my hand. “According to me, nothing can change that. Okay?”
While the heart-attack feeling slowly ebbed, I closed my eyes. She wasn’t leaving me. I could relax. As long as we were together, we’d figure it out. “Alright.”
“You’re my ride or die, baby,” she said with a crooked smile.
“Don’t ever forget it.” I pressed a kiss to her hair. “So then what’s going on?”
