Thanks for the patch up job. My spine will survive another day. If you’re not too busy, do you want to come over for dinner?
And now I just sound like I’m asking for Netflix and chill.
In the end, I send her a particularly poignant meme about tripping on air and a text Dylan would sucker punch me for writing.
Thanks for the patch up job. My spine will survive another day. You’re a great friend, and if you need to crash at mine again, it’s all yours. What are bros for, eh?
This is what we are to each other, what we’ve always been, and whatever anyone says, I can’t lay that on the line.
Seven
DeeDee
BITTERS: plant-based liquids with highly concentrated flavours used in the making of various cocktails
“And she was justthere?”
“Yes,” I answer Roxanne. “Sucking his dick like a vacuum cleaner.”
“Sacrement, that’s horrible.” Roxy puts down her coffee and reaches across the table to squeeze my hand. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s no big deal. He was always kind of a jerk, wasn’t he?”
She nods. “You said it, not me, but...yes, he was. So where did you go after? I wish you had called me.”
We’re sitting at one of the tables in La Bareille, a microbrewery and cafe that Roxy is some sort of director person for. The place looks like a classed-up warehouse, with big front windows, high ceilings, and all the pipes and air ducts exposed. The back of the room is a huge glass wall that shows off all the beer making gear behind it.
I didn’t want to deal with X right away, so I texted Roxy after leaving Zach’s place to see if she wanted to hang out. She said she could take an early lunch and get us free pastries, so here we are.
I lick some croissant flakes off my thumb before I answer. “I just went to a friend’s place.”
Friend. He is your friend.
I wasn’t thinking about being friends when I was touching his bare back this morning. I wasn’t thinking about being friends when I stood beside him in that tiny little bathroom, so close it was like I could feel the heat coming off his skin. I wasn’t even thinking about being friends when I was drifting off to sleep in Paige’s bed last night.
No, I was thinking about what it would be like to sneak into Zach’s bed on the other side of the apartment, what it would feel like to have his arms wrapped around me and his mouth on my neck.
I am going crazy. I am complètement folle.
Zach does not want that from me, and I do not want that from Zach. It’s never been like that between us, and we’ve known each other for almost three years. I’m only thinking these things because my boyfriend schedule just opened up and he’s the closest boy around.
Zach is one of the few people in my life who’s alwaysthere, waiting with a funny joke or a dumb meme to turn my whole day around without even realizing he’s doing it. He isn’t going to be there if I start making him feel like he has to cook me breakfast or cuddle me when I’m sad or kiss me whenever I want him to—if I startneedinghim.
People never want to be needed forever—not the way I need people. They think they do, but they don’t.
“DeeDee?”
“Quoi?”
Roxanne glances down at my hands and then up at me again. “You okay?”
I didn’t notice I was playing with my ring, twisting the blue gem around and around my finger. I move my hands under the table.
“Oh, yes,chérie. I was just thinking about what neighbourhood I should live in, you know, now that I need a new apartment. I want to go somewhere fun.”
“Oh! You know what?” She snaps her fingers. “One of the girls here is looking for a roommate. I know it’s kind of random, but now that I think about it, you two would really get along. She’s working part time here while she goes to haircutting school.”
“Ah,vraiment? Is it Cheveluxe?”
