I have to distract myself. I lean forwards so I can see past Molly and talk to her friend.
“So Justine, how do you like living in Kingston?”
Justine blinks at me with those scarily wide, crazy fan-girl eyes that Molly used to make every time a member of Sherbrooke Station walked in the room.
“It’s, uh...small?” she squeaks.
Cole’s standing on the other side of her and accidentally bumps her with his elbow just then. He turns and apologizes, patting her on the shoulder before going back to his conversation with Roxanne. Justine looks down at her own shoulder like it just turned to gold. Molly and I share a smile.
“Mesdames, I noticed your drinks are empty,” I say to both of them. “Another round?”
They agree, and I head over to the bar. The place is bumping, and it looks like it will be a few minutes before I can flag the bartender down. I pull my phone out and check my notifications. I’m not much of a social media guy, and the band locked me out of our official accounts after I wrote too many posts about ham, but I’m still getting tagged in stuff like crazy right now. Someone already put my solo on YouTube.
Matt told me it was the best thing he’s ever heard me play. I don’t really feel like it wasmeplaying at all. It was like something was fuelling me, some force that was stuck inside me and needed to get out.
Freaky shit, man.
I swipe to clear all the notifications away and notice there’s one telling me I’ve got an email. I scroll to my inbox and find it’s from my dad. The message is short and to the point: he wants me to come to the Christmas gala the Parti Québécois hosts every year in Trois-Rivières. I haven’t gone since I dropped out of school, but like my brother warned me, it looks like this year my dad has been forced to call the back-up son in.
The shining suit of armour I feel like I’ve been wearing all night cracks a little.
“Fuck?a,” I mutter, as the bartender finally heads my way.
I can’t forget it, though. My dad has that effect on me. As much as I want to tell him to shove his judgmental comments and passive-aggressive emails up his ass, I’ve never been able to let go of the idea that one day, he’ll finally clap me on the shoulder and tell me I’ve done well. Just once. Just so I can know what it feels like.
I’m off for the rest of the night, forcing myself to laugh and make jokes that aren’t even funny as I squeeze my beer bottle so hard Molly eventually leans in to ask me if I’m okay.
“Yeah.” I brush my thumb over the back of her neck. “Just tired.”
Stéphanie and Ace are the first to head out, just before one in the morning. It really hits me then, how much things have changed. Ace used to be the one getting dragged out of bars after last call, cursing the bouncer into next year as he landed on his drunk ass on the sidewalk. I never thought I’d see him nursing a water glass and yawning at midnight.
I also never thought I’d see him this happy.
Kay and Matt head out next, grumbling about the trip to Kay’s apartment. That leaves Molly, Justine, and I to stand there trying to ignore the way Roxanne and Cole are giving each other their typical I-want-to-set-you-on-fire-but-also-fuck-your-brains-out vibes.
“I’m going to the bathroom,” Justine announces, when she’s finished the last sip of her beer.
Molly turns to me as soon as she’s left the table. “She’s freaking out. I think part of her didn’t actually believe I hang out with Sherbrooke Station now.”
“Yeah, she looks like she could maybe use an oxygen mask or something,” I agree.
Molly drops her voice and lets her fingers trail up my arm. “I wish you could come home with me tonight.”
There’s nothing I want more, but right now, I might want it for different reasons than her. The message from my dad threw me off more than I thought it could, and crawling into bed with Molly sounds like the perfect way to turn this evening back around.
I catch her hand and take it in mine. “I wish that too. Make her sleep on the couch?”
“I’m notthatrude.” She swats my shoulder. “We should probably head out after she gets back. We’re going sightseeing tomorrow.”
“Sounds fun.”
She hesitates for a moment. “Maybe you could come with us? I know we’re not, like...I know that’s kind of aboyfriendthing to do, and we’re aren’t, uh—”
“Molly.” I tilt her chin up towards me, cutting off her sputtering. “I would love to.”
