“This is training, that’s all.” I force every ounce of casualness into my voice and hope that she sees my smile is genuine. My gut tells me to reach for her hand, but my fingers quiver and my fist balls instead.
“Well—” Rowan starts.
“Did I miss the session, the training, when you told us how to use our powers?” Ever hisses at Rowan. “What am I meant to do when I connect with someone? Because so far, it feels like you’releaving it up to chance, and I have no fucking idea what to do, or how to control it.” She levels the accusation, her own wrath simmering.
“That’s what these?—”
“No.” She cuts him off again. “You haven’t told me shit. You haven’t taught me. And I’m not going to play this game anymore. How do I push my power? How do I control it? Use it, even, instead of letting it just take over? So far, none of you has told me anything useful, only…” She doesn’t finish the sentence, and my eyes study her as if she might share the information through our minds, the way she did the other night. Although, as I think it, was it my power or hers that allowed me to do that?
“She has a point.” Micah steps up, backing her.
“It’s not like there is another Fifth to ask,” Aurelia chastises him, her tone sharp. “But, perhaps some of those gifts are similar to a Guard’s. And your mind needs to practice defensively as well as for control.” She continues to glide around the room as if this is all just coming to her now. Surely, they would have been preparing for how to train not just us, but Ever, as soon as her Transference confirmed what her power was.
Maybe not.
My mind starts to whirl in a hundred different directions as if seeing possibilities and envisioning the outcomes of multiple actions sliding on top of one another and calculating the results.
Maybe I should be training my gift harder because that’s an instinct I can trust and one that comes naturally, like breathing. I don’t even have to think, and my mind hurtles down a track, answering the questions I don’t even know are in my head.
“Train me, then. Don’t just use me as an experiment,” Ever pleads.
At her words, I reach my mind towards her, trying to bend my power and feel for her emotions. Desperation hits back atme, so all encompassing, so vital, I have to clench my jaw and grind my teeth against it.
Rowan looks at Aurelia before answering Ever. “Fine. You, on top of the regular training schedule we have for you all, will seek out Kamari for lessons. If, after the first trial, you need more assistance in learning, you can seek help from the other Orders.”
“And when will the first Trial be?” I almost don’t want to know. Almost.
“Two days following the Grain Moon.”
“That’s only a few weeks away,” I protest.
“And it will not change. We have conceded far too much already,” Rowan proclaims.
I want to rage at him, argue, and know it’s my father’s anger—the latent Warrior in me fighting, heightened, maybe, if the texts we studied this morning are to be believed.
Emotions can be a weakness for Guards.
“I would ask Azur to take his place with Ever. But, after her protests…” Rowan looks to her, expectation levelled in his glare. He’s giving her the choice, at least.
Azur is the only other Guard, and from what I can remember, he’s always been a Guard. And I can’t help but wonder what his ability is. He will have a natural advantage from knowing his magic his whole life.
I reach out, like I did with Ever, looking for any clue of emotion from him, but there’s nothing, at least that I can feel. I try harder, push further and look to find a way through the barrier that feels like a brick wall, when I’m struck with a vision of Ever, like I’m seeing her through his eyes.
Instantly, I want to barge into him, tear his gaze away from her and block her from him like she might be in danger.
Then realise this is all in my head.
A subtle twitch from Azur’s mouth is all I see on his face.
What the zuns?
Did he manipulate me?
My focus lands back on Ever, and in contrast to what just happened, there’s a storm of feeling coming from her. Not just the few thoughts that she communicated. This is a wave of emotions, and none give me a clue as to what she’ll say—if she’ll risk another experiment, as she calls them. And I realise I’m not sure what I want her to do, either.
Fight or run.
“It’s Azur’s choice,” she proclaims. Her eyes dart to mine, and I track her as she looks at Ravi, who’s now standing in the corner of the room.
