Calix shifts his gaze, and his feet scuff in the dirt.
“You don’t?” I check.
“I think people feel their power and gifts differently,” Ten offers, a tight smile on his lips.
Micah and Ravi both attempt to break through the barrier first, but their magic is limited alone. They fail, but the rain gives a momentary glimpse of the dome around us, shielding us.
Nobody makes it through. We stay safe, warm and dry within the clear, magical forcefield around us.
“Could come in useful,” Calix seems bored as he says it.
“If you can train to expand past the three of you, yes. Quite the gift,” Rowan muses, and I wonder what plan he’s concocting.
Ten’s brow is damp with sweat, the pain now clear on his face. Even this is causing him pain, and a little spark of hope, smouldering in my chest, that we’d be able to have any direct touch without him experiencing pain, fizzles out.
We break our connection, and Ten takes a minute, walking off, away from us all.
As more gifts emerge from the trainees working together, I start to wonder just how this information translates into jobs and functions within the world of The Court and Kirrasia. How did what we learn here shape people’s roles within the community?
Kyra can create a cool breeze, not overly impressive against some things I’ve seen, but it didn’t match with her tendingto visitors and members of The Chamber as a servant. My questions flit in and out of my mind, and I try to order them for when I have time to enjoy reading about the world that I’m now a part of, even if it’s temporary.
Our classroom lesson in the afternoon picks up where we left off and looks at the famous Triune’s again, something that the Custodians seem to try and emphasise, despite the scepticism from my fellow trainees.
I haven’t seen what Calix, Ten, and Crimson can do together, and I wonder what could be so special to think they’d dedicate their whole lives to each other, forsaking everyone else, at least from Crimson’s perspective.
Over the next few days, we fall into a routine. Physical training with Calix in the morning, dragging me from much-needed sleep. More experiments, fewer surprises, but more pain for Ten and a growing sense of exhaustion by the end of the day.
Kyra visits, and we chat and practise. I train with Capella and Ten in between, Micah often missing, claiming research until he shows up with something else for us to read. We scour any and all books we can find for anything that gives us a clue about what is being hidden from us.
Many evenings end with me falling asleep in bed, a book open on my chest.
Ten seemed to focus on the work, too. Almost obsessively. And I know he is practising his own Guard ability, though he doesn’t go back to Kamari, and he doesn’t trust Azur. In fact, I’m not sure if Ten trusts anyone anymore, and I lament what might have been if I’d never arrived in Kirrasia.
In the midst of everything, we don’t try speaking mind to mind, and I worry he’s putting distance between us or a safety barrier, perhaps. All that heat and anticipation that has built just feels trapped, locked in stasis between us without any way to expel it, short of causing him anguish. The fear that the rewards won’t outweigh the cost to him thread into my mind and start creating its own wall between us, too.
As the days merge together, it becomes hard to approach him or know where to start. So, I focused on work and training. My body is starting to feel fitter and stronger, even after only a few weeks of working harder, like it has finally conceded that it will cooperate with Calix’s instructions.
And the well in the centre of my chest ripples and pulses with energy whenever I think of it, as though it’s anticipating what will happen next, and how it can use the power now amassing within. The calming exercises with Kyra, along with more practising in class, seem to help me master my gift, and as it grows, so does the control I gain over it.
But as the days start to run together even faster, I realise that with the growing power in my centre that Ten is bearing more and more pain when we touch. My strength is his weakness, and it’s driving a painful wedge between us.
We barely see each other alone, and I don’t need to ask him to explain because I know. I can feel him when we touch now. I’m attuned to him. And he’s doing the only thing he can, putting up shields and pulling back from me.
The next new moon feels too far away, but it’s what I’m focused on, being able to touch without pain plaguing Ten.
I just need to overcome the initial trial first.
thirty-seven
. . .
Ever
The full moon arrives, and much like the new moon, there’s a sense of excitement around The Court. Kyra walks me through the small alleys and streets, letting me soak in the atmosphere, the fun and games, and the music. It gives me hope that there is a normal, rich life here, and it’s not just a place I’ve been trapped in.
Candles are lit and placed beneath thin paper orbs, representing the moon—Aslendrix. Micah isn’t with us, but I enjoy the time with Kyra. She explains how the Maker and her Triune visit the spot of the Transference for their own worship, but no one can confirm, given that only the three are ever-present.
Training is limited owing to our heightened powers, the strongest on this day. If we still have to train without powers, I don’t understand why we won’t today. Now would be the best opportunity to witness and understand potential. But what do I know?
