But that usually easy process in my mind that sifts through and draws conclusions, isn’t working. All I can see are questions.Instead, I revisit the information I’m certain of. She is upset. She wants space.
She wouldn’t be stupid enough to try to go back home—to Lyle?
“Please, share with us what you just worked out, Aten.” Kamari’s voice drifts over to me, and I curse that she can still read my reactions even under the new moon. I watch her, and debate sharing the truth with her. I curse the doubt she’s instilled and question if her allegiance is to my father or one of her own.
“She likes her horse. The one that she rode here with Lyle.”
“You think she’s trying to leave Kirrasia?” Kamari’s head tips to the side.
“I don’t think she’s that foolish.” I fucking hope she’s not.
“Yet, she’s fleeing under the cover of darkness on the only night that she would have an advantage over the watch guard,” my father accuses.
“She’d have every advantage over them if she waited,” I defend. No one is confident of her abilities, and that grey area is all I have against them. “Where is the Maker?” For once in my life, it would be useful to hear the old crone in my head. Or at least ask her for help. If she knew what Ever was doing.
My father turns and appears to be consulting with the others.
He is frightened of something. That fact won’t leave me alone—that fear I felt from him when we argued in his office.Why would he be afraid?
He turns his attention back to me and steps forward from the others, yet another subtle move he’s always keen to make. “The new moon will pass in a matter of hours. Ever must remain in Kirrasia. Do you understand? Warriors will be sent to bring her back, so I suggest you use the head start to try and find her before they do. And before Aslendrix returns to us.”
He holds my stare—his warning—as the blood burns in my veins at his threat. My eyes slip to Kamari’s, left in the dilemma of what she has or hasn’t shared. Do they all know what happens when Ever and I touch?
My heart punches against my chest as I turn to leave.
How the zuns am I going to find her?
There are more Warriors on duty tonight. It’s the same every new moon. It’s the time when the scales are even between everyone, Aslendrix’s power not tipping them either way. And while many choose to celebrate, others use it as an opportunity.
We might be peaceful, but that doesn’t mean that the occasional bar brawl won’t break out. And our borders are the most defenceless now, without the power to foresee or defend against approaching visitors.
My father is right, if Ever wanted to leave Kirrasia, tonight would be the best opportunity she had.
I clear the bridge and pass the training residence, already knowing she isn’t there.
From my conversations with Ever, I doubt she’d be foolish enough to wander into the forest, even mounted.
My legs stride out into a steady jog, covering the ground swiftly, keeping the edge of the forest in the shadows and head in a southeasterly direction towards the Ember. With any luck, she’ll come to her senses and stop before she gets too far.
I scan the darkness, peering through the gloom, heading in the general direction of the east guard post between the Jade and Ember. Lyle would have crossed close to it, but it’s still a way off, and if I’d never been here before, I’d retrace my steps andfollow them back. The thought that she might use this logic pins an urgency through my body and my pace quickens.
If she’s chosen east or west, I don’t know how I’ll find her.
The cliffs on either coast of Kirrasia are impressive. The ones to the west are guarded and patrolled, given the proximity to Nehandun, whereas the rough sea on the east provides a natural defence, so ships don’t tend to pass north from Estereah. That coast whispers of more than just currents and rocks dragging ships to their doom. Or so the stories from Torazan say.
I run until the patches of grass and the greenery from the edge of the forest start to give up and disintegrate into the sandy ground of the Ember. My lungs tighten, and I consider how futile running out in the middle of the night to look for her might be. But there’s something in my chest, driving me, needing to find her. To ensure she’s safe.
I should never have let her fucking go.
A faint snort from a horse has my heart pounding, and I still, listening for it again. I open my mouth to shout but think better of it, not wanting to startle her. Slowly, I advance until I can see the slightly darker silhouette of Nettle. And next to the horse, sitting on the ground in the middle of nowhere, looking out at nothing, is Ever.
Relief hits me harder than a punch from Calix to my stomach, and I send up a small word of thanks to Aslendrix, a reaction I then reconsider, given the predicament she’s put Ever in. But I’m grateful rather than mad right now.
A small twig snaps under my boot, sending Nettle’s head rising as he notices my approach.
“It’s just me, Ever,” I offer.
She doesn’t reply. But doesn’t tell me to go, either.
