“Yes.” I can’t lie.
“Maybe that’s how to explain what happened with Ascella.”
“That was different,” I add. “I was the one holding the blade and killing her. This wasn’t quite like that. I was watching thescenes we went through. Until the last part.” When I wasn’t watching anymore.
I glance at Ten again, and I’m reminded of how he looked in the classroom. It eats at my chest, the sorrow and fear all rushing back, filling the gap in my chest and poisoning the calm I’d barely held onto.
“You two have something. Instinctual at some level. Work on that. Practice. And we’ll continue, too, Aten.” She nods to him. An order.
That’s it?
Ten nods, that slight bow he offers towards Kamari reminds me to do the same, and then he heads for the door.
“What?” I’m not catching up.
“Come on, Ever.”
My vision clears, and I plead with my mind to unscramble. Even my footsteps feel unsure, like the ground isn’t quite as sure under my feet as I need it to be.
Ten closes the door to Kamari’s office behind us and leads the way down the corridor and stairs, confident in every turn until we’re out, walking into a wall of stifling heat.
The need to throw my arms around his neck and just hold him hits like the heat, but I shove that down and ignore the burning in my eyes, telling myself it’s the hot air. Not the emotion that still churns in my chest.
“Come on. We need a drink and some food before class.”
“Class?” I croak out.
“Yes.”
“After all of that?” I can’t train. I can’t do anything.
“Yes.”
“Ten. Stop. Look at me. What did you see? Because I know what itfeltlike.”
“Don’t. It’s only a possibility. That’s what Kamari said.”
My feet refuse to continue as I call to him. “I was dying.” It’s a strangled cry from my throat, betraying the terror now worming through me. If this is how Ascella felt in her vision, I understand why she hates me.
He keeps his back to me. “We also saw me trudging through ice and snow. The only snow I’ve seen is on the tops of the Jet Mountains or beyond. And believe me, I’ve never fucking been there.” He tips his head up towards the giant plains of rock that shadow and play barrier and protector to The Court.
Finally, he turns to look at me. “Just possibilities.” He twitches his lips in an attempt at a smile, but I don’t buy it.
twenty-nine
. . .
Aten
The sorrow I picked up from Ever when we were in Kamari’s office didn’t lessen after we left. Nor did it fade as we walked back to the training residence. It clung to Ever, following her every step like an ominous shadow, and I couldn’t escape its bitter tang.
I stop at one of the street stalls after the Warrior quarters and get us two cups of water and a couple of pastries. They aren’t the ones she loves, but they’ll do. She takes the food I offer, and that small gesture gives me a beat of relief.
But it doesn’t lift her emotions. It’s like sadness has painted her, coating her in the sensation and weighing her down. And I hate it.
And maybe I can admit how much she’s gotten under my skin now.
Seeing her like that—in that much pain—tore something open in my chest, and I’m not sure it wasn’t my heart. Her icy green eyes, soft full lips, her sheer defiance the first day we met,even her hand when she clung to me despite channelling pain—nothing mattered after seeing her.
