“She trapped Azur?” Kamari sounds surprised.
“He led me somewhere, like in a dream, but I got scared, and…” I trail off as another memory I’d rather forget comes back to me.
“And you two?” She flicks her eyes between us.
Ten shifts his stance. “Images. Visions. Flashes of things. At least before the Transference.”
She continues staring at Ten with expectancy written on the slant of her mouth.
“Visions. Scenes of places I’ve never been to or recognise. Glimpses,” he continues.
“And?”
“Pain.” He clears his throat. “When I’ve held her hand, brushed her skin. When I touched her cheek, it felt like she was going to crack my skull apart.” His tone is even and measured. No emotion in the words. I’ve heard him like that before.
My eyes sting with tears as I hear the full extent of what I’ve done to him.
Without even realising. Without knowing.
My gaze bores into Ten, but he doesn’t shift to look at me, and all I want is to let him know how sorry I am. How I wish that hadn’t happened between us. A heaviness, like winter snow, settles in my chest as I think about what this might mean.
“Ever?”
I peek up at Kamari.
“We can feel you. Your sorrow.”
“What?”
“It’s like a physical pulse from you. It’s blaring at me. It might not be the same for Ten.”She looks at him.“Can you feel Ever, Ten?” Kamari asks aloud.
“Yes,” he grits out.
Like when he read my emotions and thoughts outside my door.
It’s there, the thought, my intent, begging to push out and ask him to look at me. To let me know whathe’sfeeling right now.
“What did the Maker tell you?” Kamari’s question snaps my attention. I shut out every thought and keep my mind blank. The conversation I shared with her isn’t one I’m ready to share or reveal to anyone in detail. Not yet. But I’m here for a reason, to try and control, and maybe not gift Ten pain every time we touch.
“That my mind is like a muscle, and I need to train.” Hardly a secret.
She nods, continuing her lap of the room, and seems to ponder my words as if they are a riddle or complex question.
“I want you to try again. Connect your hands. But this time, Ten, I want you to work at building a mental shield to protect something. A thought, a bit of information, it doesn’t matter what, but I want Ever to try and find that information.”
“But, Ten, no. I don’t want to hurt him.” My heart starts to pound. “Touch hurts him.”
“It’s fine, Ever. This is what we’re here to do.” His voice is too calm and sends a shiver over me as I watch him turn towards me. His eyes wash over me for a split second before he shakes out his arms and rolls his shoulders, giving me a glimpse of the muscles straining under his shirt.
And then he raises his palm. Giving me his choice.
“You control your mind. That is the skill of a Guard. You won’t be able to build without practice. This is practice, Aten.” Kamari’s words are resolute. “He needs this as much as you, Ever,” she adds.
And it’s that revelation that has me inhaling a deep breath to quieten my nerves and fear. To find that still lake, the well of power. Waiting.
I can do this. I won’t hurt him.
I place my hand against Ten’s.
