The bear was already up, hulking to its full height, nostrils flaring as it caught the scent of puppy chow.
“Oh,” Maggie said flatly. “That.”
The bear bellowed and charged.
“Run!” I yelled.
“Climb!” Cody shouted.
“Fly, baby dodo bird! Fly!” Bea shrieked.
But Maggie was too slow.
She took one step toward the tree before the bear’s claws hooked the straps of her rucksack, yanking her backwards off her feet.
Maggie screamed and skidded across the dirt, rolling over onto her stomach like a turtle righting itself.
The bear seized her by the backpack again, nose twitching crazily at the scent of the puppy chow.
It picked Maggie up and whipped her side to side.
“Mother of Christ!” she screamed. “Take it easy, you stupid fuzzball!”
The bear slammed her against the ground, once.
“Ow! Motherfucker!”
Twice.
“What is this, theRevenant? Now I know why DiCaprio got an Oscar!”
She bounced like a ragdoll for a third time before the bear flung her across the clearing again.
“We have to do something!” I shrieked from the tree.
But Cody was already jumping off the branch, hitting the ground with a roll.
I started clambering down after him, and Bea scurried down after me.
“We need to get the backpack off her,” Cody said.
“Why?” Bea asked. “Does it have cocaine inside? Is this one of those cocaine bears?”
“No, it’s the puppy chow,” I realized. “The bear wants puppy chow!”
“Brooks, we need to save Maggie,” Cody said.
“Why are you making that sound so easy?”
“Just shut up and help me. Bea, you need to create a distraction.”
“Sugar, I didn’t come dressed as a zebra for no reason. I’m on it.”
The bear dug its claws into the backpack once again, picking Maggie up off the ground. It buried its snout into one of the zip-lock bags and ripped it open. Puppy chow flew into the air like confetti.
“No!” Maggie howled. “That’s my best batch ever! I was gonna enter it in the county fair!”
Suddenly Bea began to zigzag back and forth to catch the bear’s attention, all the while warbling, “Dazzle! Dazzle! Dazzle!” like some deranged turkey.
