When I was ready, my mom, mama, Ronan, and Olivia went to my Uncle Ethan’s cafe with me. It felt like coming full circle since I was pretty sure the last time we had all been together at the cafe was after Marcie dumped me. As we drove to the cafe, I took in each of my family members. These were the people who helped me heal after I had my heart broken. Now, they were all here again to cheer me on while I attempted to start a new love story. I wasn’t naive enough to believe this was how all families were. I knew how lucky I was. No matter what happened tonight, I knew this group of people had my back, and that gave me the confidence for what I was about to do. That, and Jax, of course. Even if I was somehow wrong, and she didn’t have feelings for me, I had to do this for her. She had helped me become a more confident person, and it was only fair I used that confidence to let the world (or a small Maryland town) know how I felt about her.
I didn’t feel quite as confident once I had added myself to the queue and watched the others who had signed up toperform at open mic night. There were singers, poets, and even one jaw-dropping drag performance. I didn’t think I was nearly as talented as these other people, but that was my imposter syndrome speaking.
I hadn’t seen Jax at all since I arrived because she was so busy helping my Uncle Ethan, but as soon as my name was announced as the next performer, she was suddenly by my side.
I had no idea where she came from, but when she stopped in front of me, she was breathless. Her blonde hair was pulled into a ponytail and there were wisps of hair coming out of it. She had changed out of the sweatshirt she was wearing when she left my grandparents’ in favor of one of the cafe’s staff shirts. She was gorgeous. Any doubts I had about what I was about to do vanished when I looked into those sparkling blue eyes and remembered who I was doing it for.
“You’re really doing it?” she asked excitedly as she reached out to grab my hands. “This is the last item on your list. I’m so proud of you.” She squeezed my hands and did a little hop in the air that was so very Jax, it made my heart clench.
“I am. Thank you.” I dropped one of her hands and pointed to the small stage. “They’re waiting for me.”
“You got this. I’ll be watching.”
Good. That’s the whole reason I’m doing this.I gave her a kiss on the cheek and walked to the stage. When I took my spot behind the microphone and looked out at Jax, her hand was resting on her cheek where I had kissed her.
“Today, I’m going to be reading a scene from a novel I just finished. Take it easy on me, please. This is the first book I’ve ever written, and it hasn’t gone to an editor or anything.” I smiled at Jax before looking at my phone.
As I read the scene where the two characters first realized they were in love, I read it with a passion that only someone who had just recently fallen in love could. As thewords, sentences, and paragraphs flew from my lips, I forgot all about where I was and what I was doing. It didn’t matter how many people were in this room right now watching me. I only cared about one person.
When I was done reading, the small crowd burst into applause, the loudest of all being the woman I was doing this for.
I tapped on the microphone. “If you all don’t mind, before I leave the stage, there’s something I need to do. Something I need to say to someone that I should have said a very long time ago. Because of this person, I’m finally brave enough to say it.” I took a deep breath and moved my eyes to the one person who mattered. “Jax, I didn’t know what was going to happen when I moved to New York City. Even though I was getting the opportunity to work at my dream job, I questioned multiple times if I was doing the right thing. But from the moment I arrived, you made it feel like home. It took me way too long to realize this, but it wasn’t actually New York that had become my home. It wasyou. The truth is, I could have been anywhere in the world and still felt that way, because of you. You helped me become the person I’ve always wished I could be. You gave me a confidence I never knew I could have. Best of all, you taught me how to love again.” Jax brought her hand to her mouth and tears fell from her eyes from my confession. “You’re not just some girl I’m having a good time with. At some point over these past few months, you became the love of my life. No matter how you feel about me, I had to let you know that. Before you, I wasn’t brave enough to say these words to even one person, let alone in front of an entire room. Hell, even with you, this took me way too long.” When I chuckled, the crowd laughed along with me. “Whether you feel the same or not, I want you to know that this world is a better place because you’re in it. Thanks for not only encouraging me to finally write this book, but for being my muse even before I realized you were.”
I let out a shaky breath as I stepped off of the stage. Just like before, Jax was in front of me within seconds. This time, instead of saying a word, she brought her hand to the back of my neck and pulled me into a searing kiss. I kissed her back, and everything was right in the world. It didn’t matter that a bunch of strangers were watching us. It didn’t matter that my whole family was there. All that mattered washer.
When Jax pulled away from the kiss, we both stared at each other like we had done so many times before, but this time it was different. This time, I was pretty sure wewere different.
After a few seconds, I worked up the courage to speak. “Does that mean you have feelings for me too?”
Suddenly, Jax burst into a fit of laughter. She threw her head back as she continued to laugh, and when she brought her eyes back to mine, it was written all over her face. “Carter, I’ve had a crush on you for years. The teasing remarks and flirting were just fun, but I also did it because I figured it was the best I could get. I never thought someone as amazing as you would ever really notice me.”
Was that real? There was no way, right?Years? And was she really talking aboutmenoticingher? “Seriously, Jax? You light up every single room you walk into. How couldn’t I notice?”
“I mean, it took you long enough,” Jax teased.
“That wasn’t because I couldn’t see you. It was because I never believed I was someone worth seeing. You showed me that I am.”
Jax shook her head. “Don’t sell yourself short. Everything you’ve done these past few months was you. It’s always been inside of you, and that’s what made me fall so deeply in love with you.”
“You’re in love with me?”
“I have been for a very long time. I was just too terrified to say anything, because I know you’re the one person who could destroy me.”
“I never would. I’m just sorry you won’t be able to finish your list, since we never did that double date.”
“Technically, we still can. We’ll go on one with Olivia and Quinton. You, on the other hand, won’t be able to finish yours if I have any say in it. Because I don’t want a fling with you. I want forever. Can I be your girlfriend?”
I couldn’t help but laugh at her wording. “That’s an interesting way to ask.”
“When you first opened up to me, you told me you always felt like you were in someone else’s shadow. You were Olivia’s sister, or Ronan’s sister, or Marcie, that absolute idiot’s girlfriend. I don’t want that when you’re with me. I want you to shine. You deserve to be at the center of everything, just like you’ve always been the center of my world.”
My heart. I held onto my chest as it beat rapidly against it. Jax had the power to hurt me more than anyone else ever had, but I believed her when she said she wouldn’t. “What if we both shine on our own but also shine for each other?”
It was the one thing that had been missing from my first relationship. We weren’t our own people, which made it impossible for me to stand on my own. With Jax, I knew I could be my own person, and she would love me no matter what. I knew she’d support me in making my own decisions and living my life, but also be there to catch me any time I fell. Just like I would do for her.
“I love that.” Jax’s lips tilted up more on one side. “You know, you should really be a writer.”
“That’s a great idea. Maybe I will.”
