“Is there a reason you asked, sweetie?” Something about the way she was looking at me made me think that my mama had figured out exactly why I was asking her that. There was a sparkle in her eyes and a certain upward twitch of her lips that she always seemed to get when she was excited about something. But, did that mean that she liked the idea of Jax and I together?
I shook my head, partly to deny her question and partly to shake all of these thoughts away. “No. I was just curious.”
My mom stared at me for a long time as if she was waiting for me to crack. When I didn’t, she stood from the bed and smiled down at me. “I just want you to know if there’s everanythingyou need to talk about, you can talk to me. I don’t want you to feel like you can’t.”
“Of course. I know.”
Guilt overtook me as my mama continued to walk to the door. I always told my moms everything. I didn’t want my mama to think I didn’t trust her with this.
“Mama?” I said before she could leave. When she turned back around, I took a deep breath and blew it out. “It’s not that I don’t want to talk to you about this. It’s just that I need to talk to someone else first.”
A wide, knowing grin spread across my mama’s face. “I know. Don’t want to make the same mistakes your old mama did. I get it.”
Then she turned and walked out of my room as if we hadn’t just had one of the biggest conversations of my entire life.
***
I knew I was being weird around Olivia from the time she arrived at our parents’ house, but I couldn’t help myself. The weight of the conversation I needed to have with her was pushing down on me. The problem was, I couldn’t find time away from our family to have the conversation. The few times we did get a minute alone, I chickened out.
I had thought about asking her to spend New Year’s Eve at my moms’ house with the rest of the family, but I knew that was no use since she had tickets for a party at a bar in Philadelphia.
“Earth to Carter. Are you in there?”
I was brought back to the present moment by Olivia waving her hand in front of my face.
I swatted her hand away. “What’s up?”
“What has you so lost in thought?” Olivia smirked as she studied my face. “Or maybe I should saywho.”
Does she know?That was a crazy thought. Of course she didn’t know. This was the way Olivia always teased me.
“Even if thereissomeone, she’s not going to tell you if you keep bothering her like that,” Ronan said with a snort. “Have you met our sister?”
Olivia rolled her eyes. “Anyway, two of our friends who were supposed to be going to that New Year’s Eve party with us tomorrow bailed, so I have extra tickets and was just wondering if you wanted to come.”
The middle of a crowded, loud bar probably wasn’t the best place to have the conversation I wanted to have with Olivia, but if I went out, I would definitely stay at her house. That meant I could talk to her the next day before we came back to my moms’. It was the perfect plan (aside from the whole going out on New Year’s Eve part, which was something I had always loathed).
“Sounds good to me.”
Olivia’s eyes popped wide open. “Wait. Seriously? I was sure you’d say no. This is great. I’m pretty sure Jax is coming too. It’s going to be so much fun.”
Jax is coming?There goes the talk I was planning. Also, why hadn’t Jax told me she was coming?
I took out my phone and sent her a quick text, trying to keep it cool, so she didn’t know I was freaking out. Instead of texting me back, a few seconds later, Jax called me.
“I’ll be right back,” I mumbled to my family before walking upstairs to my old bedroom.
“Hello?” I said as soon as I was safely behind my closed door.
“Surprise!” Jax said in a high-pitched scream. “I didn’t tell you because I wanted to see the look on your face if I just showed up. Of course, I couldn’t tell your sister that. If I told her I wanted to surprise you, she definitely would have asked why,and it would have been a little awkward to tell her it’s because I really like how you look naked and the way you taste.”
I had to close my eyes to gain some control. Now, all I could think about was Jax running her tongue over me, and I could barely breathe. “Y-you can’t say those things when we’re not together.”
“Lucky for you, you get to see me tomorrow.”
I wanted nothing more than to come underneath Jax’s tongue tomorrow, but I couldn’t get myself swept up in that fantasy because I knew it wasn’t going to happen. “Except, we can’t do that. My sister can’t… I mean… I wouldn’t want her to find out there’s… something… happening between us, because she walks in on the two of us in bed.”
Jax sighed. “Yeah. I definitely wouldn’t want that. It’s already weird enough not talking to her about the amazing sex I’m having. It feels like I’m keeping a secret from her. I don’t like it.”
