Of course they were. Bile rose in my throat as I thought about how perfect this girl probably was for Jax. I absolutely hated that I was acting this way. It wasn’t like me at all, and it certainly wasn’t how I wanted theNew Carterto act.
As much as I didn’t want to, I knew the best thing for me and Jax’s friendship was if I pulled away for a little bit. I just needed to pull away enough to get rid of this stupid little crush, and then everything could go back to normal.
Simple.
Chapter 15
A week and a half had passed of keeping space from Jax, but it felt more like a decade. We still ate dinner together most nights, but once we were done, I normally made the excuse that I needed to write and retreated to my room for the rest of the night. In my defense, I didattemptto write each time. Unfortunately, I was pretty sure I had deleted more words than I wrote.
I needed to get out, but the problem was, the one place I loved to go felt off limits right now since it was Jax’s workplace and wouldn’t exactly help to keep space between us.
I remembered Annika’s offer to talk and walked to her office. When I didn’t find her there, I went to the break floor since that was where she had told me she spent most of her time. I found her in one of the rooms, all by herself, sitting on a bean bag chair.
When she heard me come in, she looked up from her computer and smiled. “Carter! Hey! How are you doing? What can I do for you?”
I put my hands in my pockets and rocked back and forth. I was suddenly much more nervous than it made sense for me to be. “I was just wondering if you were free sometime this week, and maybe wanted to, like, get a drink with me or something.” I shook my head at myself. “Wow. That sounded like I was trying to ask you on a date. I realize that you are happily married and straight. I’m justreallyterrible at making friends.”
“Making friends? I thought we already were.” Annika furrowed her eyebrows, but a smile quickly came onto her face. “I’d love to grab a bite to eat or something. My husband isactually working late tonight, so if you’re free, I’m good to go as soon as we leave here.”
“Really?” There was an embarrassing squeak in my voice because of how excited I was. “I’m totally free. That sounds great.”
“Are you sure you’re not trying to date me?” Annika teased. “I can’t remember the last time someone was so excited to spend time with me.”
I put my hand over my face and laughed. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m so awkward.”
Annika laughed along with me. “It’s okay. I’m actually loving it.” She stood up. “Should we go now?”
“Yeah. That’s perfect.” A thought popped into my head. “Let me just text my roommate and let her know. We normally share cooking duties, so I need to tell her I won’t be there tonight.”
I pulled out my phone and opened the conversation with Jax, which now looking at it, had become very one-sided. The last text was a drunk one Jax sent me this past weekend when she went to a friend’s Halloween party telling me how much she wished I was there. My body heated up the same way it had the first time I read that text.Damnit.
Carter: Hey! I’m actually going out to eat with a coworker tonight, so I won’t be home for dinner. Sorry for the late notice!
Jax: All good! Glad you’re making friends at work :) I already started cooking, but I’ll heat something for myself in the microwave and save this for tomorrow.
Carter: Are you sure? I feel bad. I didn’t realize you would have already started.
Jax: It’s no big deal at all! Have fun! Can’t wait to hear all about it when you get home.
Jax was so sweet, it made me feel guilty over the distance I’d placed between us. It wasn’t like I was doing it because I didn’t want to be around her. Ilongedto be around her, and that was exactly what the issue was. Hopefully soon that longing would go away and things could go back to normal between us. Until then, I just had to keep reminding myself that this was for the best.
“Everything okay?” Annika asked. “Do you need to reschedule?”
I slipped my phone back into my pocket to keep myself from obsessing over it. “Nope. We’re good. I’m ready.”
We walked to a restaurant just a few blocks from work and sat at the bar while we waited for a table to be ready. Annika turned to face me as she sipped on her glass of water. “Tell me more about yourself, Carter. We’ve eaten lunch together many times, but I still feel like I don’t know much about you.”
That’s because I have trouble letting people in.“I grew up about an hour outside of Philly, then moved to Philly for college, and that’s where I had been living before moving to New York.”
“Any siblings?”
“A brother and a sister. We’re actually triplets.”
A little bit of water dribbled out of Annika’s mouth as she coughed in response to my confession. She set down her water and brought a hand to her chest. “I’m sorry. Did you say triplets? Your poor mother. I can’t imagine having three babies in my belly.”
I watched the way Annika patted her stomach, and then my eyes drifted to her water, which she had opted for over alcohol.Oh my god.I was so excited, I wanted to squeal andask Annika if my assumptions were correct, but I held back. If she really was pregnant, that was her news to tell. I wasn’t going to steal the moment from her. Plus, most people had a certain order they wanted to tell people in, and I was sure I was nowhere near the top of that list.
Annika laughed. “I kind of gave myself away there, didn’t I? I can tell what you’re thinking, and the answer is yes. I’m pregnant. Please don’t tell anyone at work, though. It’s still early so none of them know. The only people who do know at this point are our families.” Annika smiled at me. “And you.”
