“Me either.” Jax pointed to the TV. “Hence the workout video. Too excited about our picnic today.” Jax gave me her award-winning grin, then looked down at her watch. “I should actually probably shower and start getting everything ready for that. I know it’s early, but I have a lot to do if I want to make it perfect for you.”
Perfect for me? How did she mean that?
“You know, to show you I’m chivalrous and all that jazz, so I can check it off my list.”
There’s my answer.I tried my best to ignore the slight sting her comment caused. “Cool. While you’re doing that, I think I’ll go to the cafe for a little bit.”
I walked back into my room without waiting to hear what Jax had to say, because I felt like I couldn’t breathe. As soon as I closed the door, I leaned back against it and put my hand on my chest while I took deep breaths. My up and down emotionsabout Jax were getting the best of me, and it was clearly taking a toll on my anxiety.
After finally getting my breathing and heart rate under control, I got dressed and left my room once again. I was happy when I walked out to find that Jax was no longer there. I was almost out of the apartment when I heard the bathroom door open and turned to find Jax, covered by only a towel, leaning out of it. My eyes moved all over the room as I avoided the places they actually wanted to look.
Jax looked down at her towel, then back at me, and giggled. “Sorry. I have no boundaries. I think I got too used to living with your sister whoalsodidn’t have any. I just wanted to tell you to have them put your drink on my tab.”
“Your tab?” All this time I honestly thought she was making my drinks on the company’s dime, not her own money. “Have you been paying for all of my drinks?”
Jax shrugged. “It’s not reallypayingif it comes out of my paycheck, right? If I never actually see the money, it doesn’t really exist. At least, that’s how I see it.”
I had to imagine that’snothow 90% of the world saw it, including me. I hated knowing that every single one of Jax’s paychecks had been lower since I started going to the cafe. It might not have meant something to her, but it definitely meant something to me.Ugh.It meant so much to me. My arms and legs tingled as I worked to hold them back from walking across the room and pulling Jax into a long hug. A hug that would certainly have my heart racing thanks to her lack of clothes. With that thought, the tingling sensation moved to my center.Shit. I need to get out of here.
I shook my head. “You shouldn’t do that for me. It’s too much. You work hard at your job. You deserve to take home your whole paycheck.”
Jax smirked. “Consider this another random act of kindness. If you deny me of it, you’re denying me of my list, and you love lists.”
Damnit. I really do love lists.
Before I could think of how to respond, Jax winked at me and slipped back into the bathroom, humming happily behind the closed door.
The whole walk to the cafe, all I could think about was what she had done for me. I realized the drinks weren’t an expensive piece of jewelry, but to me, this meant so much more than the nicest gold necklace. Jax had paid for my drinks for no other reason than to do something nice for me. She never expected anything in return. She didn’t even let me feel like Ishouldgive her anything in return. Not telling me what she was doing proved the only reason she did it was to make me happy. That proved to me even more what a good person Jax was, but it definitely didn’t help my heart.
When I got to the cafe, I placed my order without mentioning Jax’s tab. Even though she told me to, it didn’t feel right now that I knew. I waited for my drink, then took my usual spot and opened my book to read. After re-reading the same line five times, I gave up and went for a walk through the city instead. When it was getting closer to lunch time, I finally made my way back to our apartment. I walked in to find a picnic basket on the kitchen bar and Jax sitting on the couch flipping through channels on the TV. She was dressed in tight black jeans and a thin white sweater. Her hair was curled, and one look at her face made it very obvious that she had spent extra time doing her makeup. She always looked great, but at that moment, she looked extraordinary. I was pretty sure I had never seen a more beautiful human in my entire life. When she looked over at me and smiled as if I was the one who put it there, she was even prettier.
“You’re here!” she said excitedly as she jumped up from the couch and turned off the TV. She skipped across the room and picked up the picnic basket, then opened the refrigerator door to an angle where I couldn’t see what she was doing. After she closed the door, she flashed me that amazing grin once again. “Ready to go?”
I couldn’t form words, so I simply nodded.
Jax opened the door and motioned for me to go out before her. She did the same thing with the elevator and the front door of our apartment complex. As soon as we stepped outside, she pointed to a car parked just down the street. “There’s our ride.”
“So, where are we going?” I asked as I got into the car through the door that Jax had opened for me.Swoon.
“Central Park.Sheep Meadowto be exact, named due to the fact that it was home to a flock of sheep until 1934. Now, it is known for being one of Central Park’squiet zones.”
“Quiet zone?” I lifted an eyebrow at Jax. “Sounds like the opposite of the type of place you would hang out.”
Jax lifted an eyebrow right back at me. “And it sounds like exactly the type of place thatyouwould. This date is all about you, after all. Plus, by being in the quiet area, there’s no chance of loud music keeping us from being able to talk. I might not have much experience, but I also believethat’swhat dates are all about. At least, the ones with someone you actually want a future with.”
Someone you actually want a future with.I swallowed hard when those words hit my ears. I wanted them to be true, but that’s not what this was. This was a skit. Practice. I was simply an actress in the movie of Jax’s life. I wasn’t her leading lady.
Or was I? I questioned this more and more as the date went on. Jax’s chivalry seemed to go beyond practice.Everything she was doing was geared toward me, from getting my favorite type of hoagie (information she got from my sister) to surprising me by bringing along the book that I had tossed on the floor after getting home from the cafe. She encouraged me to lay my head on her lap, and she ran her fingers through my hair as I read. She watched me carefully, and whenever my expression changed, she asked me what had happened and smiled dreamily as I explained.
The more she watched me, the more I noticedhowshe was watching me. There appeared to be an adoration in her eyes that was normally reserved for the person you had feelings for.
I closed my book and stared up at her, and she continued to stare down at me, that adoration never once fleeting. I wanted to do something that scared me to death. I wanted to put myself out there and be honest about my feelings. I wanted to leap without considering where I might land.
Jax pushed a piece of hair behind my ear and sighed, and I waited with bated breath to hear what she had to say. “Do you ever feel like maybe we should forget about these lists?”
Okay, that definitely wasnotwhat I expected her to say. “What do you mean?”
Jax shrugged and looked toward the sky. “I don’t know. Maybe we’re going about it wrong.”
