He walked to a bench with a view of Dead Horse Beach and took a seat. The waves were churned up with a storm approaching from the south. The weatherman had spoken about an impending nor’easter yesterday morning, but with all that happened last night and this morning, Jude hadn’t caught the latest report. If the anger of the ocean was any indication, Salem was going to get nailed with snow, high winds, and higher tides.
He made a mental note to stop off at the grocery store and pick up their favorite staples. Pints of ice cream for himself and Cope. A bag of Cool Ranch Doritos for Wolfie, and Lizbet’s “shishies,” otherwise known as Goldfish crackers. Maybe his thoughtfulness would help Cope’s temper toward him cool enough so that he could apologize for being a dick-faced asshole last night and again this morning.
Before he could make peace with his husband, Jude needed a reckoning with his past. Shaking his head, Jude refocused on the events that landed him alone in a park on solitary bench with temperatures hovering around twenty degrees.
Seeing Jerry again had really thrown Jude for a loop. If he was being honest with himself, and at this point, there was no reason not to, Jude, for the barest moment, had flashed back to his past. His memories of Jerry flooded his mind. He’d been one of the few men Jude had seen more than once. He’d been a hungry lover, giving as good as he got, always making sure Jude came so hard, he nearly blacked out.
Was it a crime for Jude to have looked back on those days fondly? Probably not. What was a crime was the way Jude had allowed Jerry to be close to him. He’d known his former lover was flirting with him in the hopes of enticing him away from his husband and with Jude’s fucking consent, the asshole had done just that. His hands seemed to be everywhere at once and there had been a time or two Jerry’s lips had grazed the sensitive skin near his right ear, when he’d leaned in closer to speak in a tone only Jude and his stupid dick could hear.
It hadn’t taken much for his cock to rise to the occasion, which, now that Jude thought about it was probably the worst part of the night. The ring on his left hand might announce to the world that he was taken, but his dick had no such constraints placed onit. All his traitorous prick knew was that there was a chance of getting wet and he was most definitelyupfor anything.
His mind cast back over the things Cope had said before he’d walked out of the house. It was obvious his husband was having a crisis of trust. It sounded very much to Jude like Cope had been questioning his faithfulness. Jude didn’t blame him one bit. If the roles had been reversed and Cope had behaved the way Jude had, coming home with a phone number in his pocket and getting suggestive text messages from a man who was not his husband, Jude would be wondering if Cope had broken their vows too.
Jude knew Cope would ask if it had been worth it. All the attention lavished on him last night, the drinks he’d been given, and reconnecting with a big-dicked former lover. The answer to that question was a definitive no and not just because his feet were frozen blocks of ice and he couldn’t feel his face.
Cope and the kids were his entire world. Even being away from them now hurt in a way Jude had never felt before. His mantra of “so many men, so little time,” had carried him through his single days, keeping his heart safe from being broken, stomped on, or ripped out of his chest. In this moment, Jude understood the pain he must have cause so many people over the years. What Cope was feeling now. There was helplessness, mixed with soul-crushing regret, and fear.
Stone. Cold. Fear.
If a stranger had asked Jude yesterday what he was afraid of, Jude would have jokingly mentioned the rising cost of college tuition and Lizbet’s future clothing budget. Now, the stark reality was that Jude was on the precipice of losing it all. His husband. His kids. His home. His friends. His career. In essence, everything.
Taking a deep breath, Jude realized all was not lost. He could get back in the car, blast the heater, and drive home to face what he’d done to blow his marriage apart. He would do whatever it took to make Cope understand this was a one-time fuck up. That he’d done nothing in the past that would qualify as coming close to breaking his vows. Then, he’d pray like hell that Cope would be able to see and feel his sincerity.
Jude was willing to do whatever it took to get his marriage back on track. If it meant sleeping on the couch for a week, or a month, he’d do it gladly, with no complaints. If Cope wanted to go to counseling, he’d go, no questions asked. He’d do the work to make sure nothing like this ever happened again.
Feeling refreshed and rejuvenated, Jude knew he had a solid plan for saving his marriage and his family. As he was about to get up from the frigid bench, he heard footsteps behind him. Turning, he caught sight of a familiar face. “What the hell are you doing here?”
Without saying a word, the person approached Jude with a syringe in his hand, seconds later, the needle pierced the skin of neck.
Jude felt his entire body shutting down. As he wilted, in slow-motion, to the sandy beach, his last thought was that this moment was a scene right out ofDexter. Jude hoped like hell he didn’t wake up in a room covered in plastic, cling-wrapped to a table, with photographs of his misdeeds surrounding him.
5
Cope
Not only had Tennyson taken Wolfie to the library to check out “blizzard books,” as his son called them, but he’d also taken the kids for lunch at McDonalds, bringing home a cheeseburger and fries for Cope and some nugs for Lizbet.
The last thing on Cope’s mind had been the impending snow storm. After lunch, he’d checked the weather online and realized he didn’t just need to get out and get stuff to make Jude’s favorite dinner, he needed to stock up on supplies like bread and milk, in case the power went out. Quickly compiling a list, Cope headed out the door to drop the kids with Ten and Ronan.
“Where the hell is Jude?” Ronan asked when he opened the door. Wolf and Lizbet ran inside, leaving Cope alone on the stoop to explain things to Ronan.
“I’m not sure. He went out to run some errands.” Cope shrugged, trying to look non-chalant. He wasn’t a good enough actor to stand up to the scrutiny of a seasoned cold case detective.
Ronan’s eyes narrowed. He nodded. “Tell that prick to call me when he gets back. He’s not returning my texts.”
“Oh, you know Jude. When he’s got something on his mind, he doesn’t let anything distract him.” Turning, Cope practically ran down the stairs.
When he was in the car and had it warming up, Cope realized what Ronan had said about not returning texts. His resolve to let Jude come crawling back to him crumbled about an hour after his husband left the house. He’d called and texted Jude, apologizing and asking him to come home so they could figure things out. Jude hadn’t responded to either message. Knowing now that he wasn’t responding to Ronan either, sent a shiver of fear skirting down his spine.
Jude had only been gone for four hours. It wasn’t time to panic yet. Taking a deep breath, Cope pulled into the street and headed for the grocery store. When he arrived, the parking lot was packed. It had taken several minutes for him to find an empty spot.
Worried the aisles were emptying out fast, Cope headed inside the store, which was complete and total chaos. Everyone from a four town radius was packed inside, pushing carts that were filled to overflowing with snacks, soda, beer, and steaks. Cope assumed people planned to grill if the power went out, which it most definitely was going to do at some point during the storm. According to what he’d seen on the internet, Salem was expected to get approximately two feet of snow. With strong easterly winds off the water, the power would be knocked out long before the storm pulled away.
Cope moved up and down the aisles with military precision, ducking around people to grab pasta, crushed tomatoes, bread, peanut butter, and the last gallon of whole milk. Cookie dough,ice cream and others snacks were added. Taking a cue from the stuffed carts he’d seen on the way into the store, Cope grabbed steaks, potatoes, and asparagus, all of which could be grilled. On his way toward the checkout, Cope breezed through the bakery section and grabbed a cheesecake and muffins. The more, the merrier.
After waiting nearly forty minutes to get checked out, Cope stacked the groceries in the back of his SUV and got into the driver’s seat. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, tapping the screen. There was still no response from Jude. Tapping out a quick message asking his husband to please come home, Cope started the engine and headed home.
When the groceries were put away, Cope went across the street and rang Ten’s doorbell. “Uncle Cope!” Everly shouted as she opened the door. Wolf waved from the sofa where he and Lizbet were watching a movie with Ezra.
