Jude knew his niece was doing everything in her power to bring him home, but what would happen to Everly if Jude never came back? Would she blame herself? Would that lead her down a dark road and ruin her future? It would kill Jude if Everly lost her joyful innocence. Even when she saw things with her gift that were horrible or devastating, Everly always managed to find the silver lining. The last thing Jude wanted was to take that away from her.
For that matter, how would Jude’s death effect Ronan? Their relationship started out in an adversarial way with Jude being a private investigator and Ronan being a detective with the Boston Police Department. Both men had seen how similar they were and played off their oil and water relationship. As much as Jude “hated” Ronan when they’d first met, he’d seen the hard work and dedication Ronan put into everything he touched, including his life with Tennyson. He’d learned everything he needed to know about being a husband from Ronan. He’d also picked up a thing or two about what not to do as a husband. Jude had learned those lessons well. When he’d walked down the aisle with Cope, it was thanks to Ronan and everything he’d taught Jude.
Jude would be the first to also credit Ronan with teaching him what he needed to know about being a good father. When the call came that Wolf’s parents were dead and that Jude had been named the baby’s guardian, he hadn’t hesitated to get to Arizonaand his son. If it weren’t for Ronan, Jude might not have had the confidence in himself to take on Wolf and all the responsibilities that went along with fatherhood.
If he were being honest with himself, Jude would admit that Ronan was the best friend he’d ever had. Ronan had always seen Jude as an equal, no matter what. They’d relied on each other for help, advice, and as a sounding board with things they couldn’t speak to their husbands about. Ronan would be lost without Jude, and that wasn’t his grandiose self-confidence speaking. If the roles were reversed and it was Ronan who’d been abducted, Jude would do everything in his power to find him and bring him home. There was no doubt in his mind that was exactly what Ronan was doing.
It would be the same with Fitz. Their relationship had grown over time. The captain had always been grateful for the work Jude did for the Boston Police, but it wasn’t until they’d decided to form the detective agency that Jude and Fitz got closer. Jude had skills and resources Fitzgibbon was unfamiliar with and had been more than happy to show him the ropes. The two men had enjoyed playing basketball together, until Jude injured his knee nearly two years ago. It had been Kevin who’d bumped into Jude, sending both of them crashing to the court.
What followed was nothing shy of a horror story, with Jude finding himself in the sights of the killer angel. Jude knew Kevin blamed himself for the close call, but Jude hadn’t felt that way at all. Jude had nearly died thanks to the killer, but he would much rather have it be him, than some other innocent who didn’t know the danger that lurked around the hospital corridors. He’d almost lost his life that day, but Ronan, Fitz, and Cisco Jackson had been there to save him when it counted.
Jude had learned a ton from Fitzgibbon as well. He’d also adopted two kids and was Jude’s go-to when Wolf asked questions about his birth parents. Yes, he and Ronan were both fathers, but Fitzgibbon understood the complexity that went along with parenting a child who’d lost their mother and father.
His friends had brought so much to his life and knew he’d done the same for them. How could life ever be the same again if Jude never came home? His loss would cause pain to the people he loved the most, which was completely unacceptable. Jude was going to survive. He was going to go home. There was no other viable alternative.
Moving back to the bucket, Jude unhooked the metal handle and was about to go to work on the lock when he heard the metal against metal screech of the door opening. He quickly put the handle back where it belonged and sat down on the bed, mentally preparing himself for the fresh hell to come.
“Good morning, Jude!” Jerry greeted, sounding like he was standing on top of the world.
“Hey, Jerry.” There was nothing of Jude’s usually sunny personality in his greeting.
“Now, Jude, surely you can do better than that,” Jerry urged with a sickly sweet smile.
“Go fuck yourself. Let me out of here so I can go home to my family.” Jude was sick of Jerry’s bullshit. He’d told the prick several times that he wasn’t interested in more than a friends with benefits relationship back in the day. That hadn’t been the answer Jerry was looking for and now Jude was having to pay the price for his audacity in not returning the feelings Jerry had for him.
“That’s not very nice, Jude.”
“Neither was drugging me again last night.” Jude decided the gloves were off. He wasn’t going to turn himself into a sniveling, kiss ass, shell of himself in the hopes that Jerry was just going to let him go.
“Ah, you noticed that, did you?” Jerry chuckled. “It’s nice for once to be in control of things. When we were dating, you held all the cards, Jude. I’m quite enjoying our second time around together.”
“Enjoying our second time?” Jude asked, rolling his eyes. “What the fuck is enjoyable about being locked in a cage with no toilet with drugged food and water?”
Jerry shrugged. “You’ll never be able to leave me this way and there won’t be any other men for you to fuck. Two birds. One stone.”
Jude took a deep breath. “The entire point of being in a relationship with someone is free will. You’re both free to come and go as you please. The magic in it is when you choose to stay, not when you’re forced against your will.” His eyes raked over Jerry’s body. “Look at you, you’re a good looking guy. You’ve put on about twenty pounds of muscle since the last time I saw you.”
“Try thirty pounds.”
“See, there you go. We both know what guys at the club look for in a man and you’ve got it all, in spades. There are men out there who’ll want to go home with you just for that body alone, never mind your successful career and your owning your own home.” Jude was laying it on thick, but his silver tongue was the only weapon available to him at the moment.
“I don’t want any of those other men. I want you, Jude.” Jerry’s voice had taken on a bit of a whiney tone.
Jude remembered that tone was one of the big reasons Jude didn’t want to see Jerry again. Back in the day, he had a busy slate of cases he was working in Boston, trying to get wrongly convicted criminals out of prison. His job required hours of work, some of them at odd times of the day. Jerry had wanted Jude at his beck and call, which made Jude want to run for the hills. He’d been too stupid to realize that the way to get Jude to stick around was to act ambivalent to him leaving.
Cope had understood that concept perfectly. His future husband acted like he didn’t give a fuck if he saw Jude again. He never tried to make future plans, and made it a point to tell Jude that he was a busy guy with a life and interests of his own, which of course made Jude all the more curious about Cope and those interests. Jerry wanted what he wanted, when he wanted it. Jude hadn’t been interested in those terms, not even if they meant getting the best blow jobs of his life.
“In that case, we’re at crossed swords.” Jude shrugged. “You want something I can’t, and more specifically,won’tgive you.” He watched for Jerry’s reaction. It didn’t disappoint.
Jerry’s hands balled into fists. His eyes, usually a gorgeous shade of green, turned black with hatred. This was the man Jude walked away from eight years ago. He hadn’t regretted that decision, and still didn’t, present situation excluded.
“I’ve changed my mind,” Jerry began.
“You’re going to let me go?” Jude asked, feeling ridiculously hopeful.
“No, I’m going to ask for a ransom. You mentioned that rich friend. I did a little research on Jace Lincoln and that asshole is fucking loaded. How the hell did you get to be friends with a man like that?”
Jude felt heartsick. He never should have mentioned Jace. It had been his ace in the hole. Now that it had been played, Jude wished he’d kept it up his sleeve. “He’s my captain’s husband.”
