Cope snickered. “Jude’s always beenallabout the D.”
“No, I meant what else was a slap in the face? Not what else is there in life besides my dick.” Although, if Jude were being honest with himself, his dick was always at the top of the list.
“My knees hurt when I climb the front steps, and I can hurt my back by sneezing too hard.” Ronan grimaced as if he were remembering a particularly painful incident.
“Try hurting your back while sleeping.” Fitzgibbon rolled his eyes.
“What about you, Ten?” Cope asked. “How has turning forty affected you?”
“Bite your tongue!” Ten laughed. “I’ve got a few years to go! But I will say I have noticed a bit of a slowdown with how much I want it lately.”
“You and me both,” Ronan said, sounding salty.
“Maybe if you were a bigger help around the house and with the kids, I wouldn’t fall into bed exhausted every night. I’m cleaning the house, doing laundry, making dinner on the nights when we don’t call out to Greek Life. It’s half past eight by the time I’m done for the night, and you want to get frisky. I can barely keep my eyes open.”
Jude held his breath. The last thing he wanted was to start the trip out with everyone fighting. Division of labor was always a hot-button issue in his house. Cope never thought Jude did enough around the house but also never volunteered to mow the lawn, shovel snow, or to get the oil changed in his SUV. Usually, Jude only found out the car needed service when Cope mentioned that the submarine light had turned on. He had to admit the check engine light looked like a weird little submarine, but that was after he’d sputtered and shouted about why it took Cope so long to mention there was a problem in the first place.
“You’re right,” Ronan agreed.
Jude felt a sense of relief flood his entire body.
“Our housekeeper works wonders,” Jace said. “She comes every morning and cleans up from the night before. She does laundry and changes the sheets on the bed. It might be money well spent for you guys to hire someone like that. It gives Fitzy and I more time to spend with Aurora, and we both have a lot more energy for sexy times after she goes to sleep.” Jace waggled his eyebrows.
“How much does that cost you?” Cope asked.
“About three hundred per week, more or less, depending on how much laundry there is to do. We tip generously too.” Jace grinned. “So, maybe closer to five hundred per week.”
“That’s not bad,” Ronan said. “Would you like something like that?” he asked Ten, his voice barely above a whisper.
Ten nodded and kissed Ronan. Not a quick peck, but something longer and a lot wetter.
“Jesus, take me now!” Jude muttered. “What the hell is up with the two of you being so amorous?” Jude realized, too late, that he might not want to know the actual answer to the question.
“Ten thinks I’m super sexy now that I’ve become a caregiver to Corny.” Ronan snickered. “I still don’t know how the hell the three of us got roped into making that man’s lunch and reading him the morning paper, but if it makes my hubby think I’m a hero, then it’s worth all the pain.”
“What pain?” Ten asked, sounding even more enamored with Ronan.
“Having to help the old man to the toilet.” Ronan shivered. “Sometimes he needs help pulling down his drawers, or worse, pulling them back up after he drops the kids off at the pool.”
“Fucking eww!” Cope cried before gagging.
“It takes a lot out of me to be a hero, babe.” Jude leaned in to kiss Cope.
“You guys are full of shit! Punintended!” Fitz snorted from the driver’s seat. “I never have to deal with shit and squiggles.”
“Yeah, because you come over in the afternoon. Corny’s all crapped out by lunchtime.” Ronan frowned, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Guys, look! There’s the Maine border! We’re almost there!” Jace sounded ridiculously excited. He pulled out his phone and snapped pictures of the sign welcoming them to Vacationland.
Jude relaxed back against his seat. Crisis averted, he knew this was going to be the best summer weekend of his entire life.
2
Cope
Becoming a widower over Labor Day weekend hadn’t been on Cope’s summer bingo card, but here they were. Everyone’s spirits had taken a nosedive when Lizbet had a diaper explosion, one that leaked into her car seat and dripped onto the floor. Fitzgibbon had to pull the van off the road at a rest stop so that the baby could be hosed down along with the van and Everly’s left leg, which had been caught in the maelstrom of baby shit.
Cope hadn’t seen Lizbet’s incident as a bad omen at the time, but now, standing in front of the Four Star Hotel, there was no other way to describe it. There were, however, several ways to describe the monstrosity they were seeing. Cope had been promised a magnificent, classy, upscale place to spend the last weekend of summer. What he got instead was a dumpy, outdated roach motel.
