Fitz shook his head. Fuck, his friends were really going to hate him now.
“You’d like to be the bio father?” Jude asked, looking confused.
“I don’t want another child. I’m happy with Greeley and Aurora. Our life at home is perfect with our daughter. Jace is finally working fewer hours. We’ve got a schedule for Aurora that works for her. We do sleepovers and go on vacations.” Fitz sighed. “I’m over fifty. I don’t have the same energy for an infant that I had six years ago when we adopted Aurora.” Fitz offered a tight smile. “Okay, rip into me. I deserve it.”
“No one’s gonna rip into you, Fitz,” Ronan said gently. “As Ten always says, it takes two yeses and one no to have a baby. I know he’d like a third, but I feel the same way you do. Things are great now. Ezra is sleeping through the night and will start pre-school in a few weeks so we can get him more socialization with kids his own age. Everly’s got her interests in gardening, playing soccer and spending time with Aurora, Wolf, and Brooke. Adding a baby into the mix would unbalance all of those things, not to mention the fact that we’d be outnumbered. At least now, there’s one kid for every adult.”
Fitz nodded along with Ronan. He had no idea Ten wanted a third child. He felt better knowing Ronan understood where he was coming from. “What about you, Jude?”
“I agree with Ronan. You both have to agree it’s a go or the answer is no. If you go ahead and have this baby against your better judgement, it will make life harder and sooner or later you’ll end up resenting Jace and possibly the baby. That’s not the right environment to bring a child into. I’ll also point out that when you adopted Aurora, you were the one doing the heavy lifting. Jace was putting in sixteen hour days at the Tremont Street Mission. No offense, but I always wondered if he was trying to avoid coming home to a crying baby and a worn out husband.”
“No offense taken.” Jude was right. Jace hadn’t known how to deal with Aurora. The baby was suffering from opioid withdrawal, courtesy of her late mother. It was hell helping her detox. There were nights she wouldn’t sleep a wink and would just scream and cry. “If we had another baby, I wouldn’t be able to be home with him or her the way I was with Aurora. Our hours with the Salem Police are flexible, but not flexible enough for me to be an active captain and a caregiver to a newborn.”
“What reason did Jace give for wanting another baby?” Ronan asked. “Is he planning on stepping back further from his role in the shelter?”
“He hasn’t mentioned working less, although, truth be told, he’s not working the kind of hours he did when Aurora came home. When I asked what was driving this, he just said that he’d been miserable as an only child and didn’t want the same fate for Aurora.” Fitz had also been an only child and that thought never crossed his mind. Did that make him a terrible father?
“I might agree with him if it weren’t for Everly and Wolf,” Ronan said. “The three of them are friends, but they’re also growing up like siblings in this big extended family. Have either of you asked Aurora what she thinks? If you bring another child into the family, she’ll be the one most affected by that. I remember how excited Everly was when Ezra was born, which lasted all of one day having him at home. She struggled being a big sister and it was hard to watch her navigate changes in her life that she never asked for. She was angry at Ten and me for bringing her brother home. It took months to get her back on track and a ton of pep talks from Jude. Remember?”
Fitz hadn’t known Jude had been helping Everly. He’d known his niece was struggling, but had no idea Jude had been involved with helping to right the ship.
“Yeah, those were some hard conversations,” Jude agreed. “To be honest, what happened with Everly and Ezra worried me when Lizbet came home. You guys had months to prepare Everly for her little brother, Cope and I had only a matter of days, and I was in the hospital after having knee surgery and then being attacked by a serial killer.”
Fitz would never forget that day as long as he lived. He and Salem Police Chief Cisco Jackson had been manning the security booth in the hospital when Jude offered himself up as bait to the killer, who’d nearly added Jude to his tally. Cope had been the one who’d taken Lizbet home from the hospital while Jude continued to recuperate.
“Thankfully, Wolf stepped in to be a helper with me not being at home. We had a long talk about how his little sister needed him to protect her and he quickly jumped on board. There was almost no sibling rivalry between them. I hate to say this, but I think Aurora would respond to a sibling the same way Everly did.” Jude wore a worried look.
“You’re right,” Fitz agreed. “Aurora would struggle.” He set his head in his hands. It was great that his friends understood where he was coming from and were on his side, but that didn’t help him solve the problem. “What do I do? Jace doesn’t know I’m not on board with this plan.”
“Why don’t you take Lizbet or Ezra for the weekend?” Ronan sounded almost diabolical. “Don’t let Aurora go anywhere for a sleepover, but you get out of the house for a while to go food shopping or something. Let Jace see what it would be like as a father of two.”
“Wow,” Fitz said. Ronan’s idea had never occurred to him. “How do I tell Jace I don’t want another baby?”
“Just like that,” Jude said. “You owe it to him to be completely honest. Tell him all the reasons why you don’t think this move is the right one for your family and go from there.”
“What if he wants to divorce me because we’re not on the same wavelength?”
“Let’s not think in worst case scenarios,” Jude said. “Get through the conversation and then you can figure out how to move forward together. Don’t forget too that Jace was raised by nannies, tutors and what not. He doesn’t have a lot of hands-on childcare experience. Would you want this child raised by strangers like he was?
Another great point, Fitz thought. “Okay, I’ll talk to him when we get home. I’ll just have to go with the flow even if the worst happens.” As Fitz spoke, thunder rolled through the valley. The wind picked up and it started to pour.
The men scrambled to save what little was left of their dinner from getting wet. Each of them ran for the SUV, which thankfully Jude had left unlocked. All three of them were soaked to the bone. The wind howled around them, rocking the car. Ronan’s tent lifted off the ground and rolled away like a tumbleweed. Seconds later, it was lifted into the air and quickly flew out of sight.
“Christ, this is the end, isn’t it?” Fitz asked.
“Come on Fitz,” Ronan said. “It’s just a thunderstorm, not Armageddon.”
“I meant the end of the camping trip, not the end of us, dumbass.” Fitz laughed. “Although if God decided now was your time to go, I wouldn’t put up much of a fight to keep you.”
“Gee thanks,” Ronan muttered. “That tent had my sleeping bag inside. What the hell do we do now? Go to that little B&B? No one will ever know we didn’t sleep here.”
“They might if we don’t find Ronan’s lost tent.” Jude snorted.
“I’ll call the inn,” Fitzgibbon said, reaching for his phone. “If they have rooms, we’ll pack up and then spend the night in a dry, warm place with WIFI, agreed?”
“Agreed!” Jude and Ronan said together.
In Fitz’s mind, it didn’t matter where they slept. They’d done what they came on this trip to do and that was to get their friendship and professional partnership out of the ditch. Now that they’d done the hard work, they deserved a treat. A hot meal. A warm bed. Dry clothes.
