“Having trouble with your sausage, Fitzy?” Ronan waggled his eyebrows.
“Leave my sausage out of this,” Fitz shot back, taking another bite of pizza.
“We could always call it Sweaty Balls,” Jude suggested, barking a laugh, along with Ronan, who could barely catch his breath.
“Ew, Uncle Jude.” Everly wrinkled her nose. “I don’t want sweaty balls.”
“Me either!” Ronan chirped, gasping for breath.
“Okay, children.” Jace said, his voice rising about Ronan’s hyena laugh. “There are no balls, sweaty, blue, or wrinkled. We chose a different theme this year.”
“What is it?” Wolf asked. “I hope I don’t have to wear fancy pants and another tie.” He rolled his eyes in a perfect imitation of his father.
“You’ll all be happy to know we’re going to the circus!” Jace announced.
The table erupted with everyone speaking at once. “I love the circus,” Everly gushed. “The clowns are my absolute favorite when they all get out of the tiny car.”
“Mine too!” Aurora agreed.
Ronan cringed. He hated clowns with a burning passion he usually reserved for tax season and cauliflower. There wasn’t a big enough word to describe his years-long hate for pancake make-up, red noses and giant shoes. Knowing Everly loved them was a dagger to his heart. How the hell was he going to manage to suck up his ill-will long enough to snap creepy pictures of Everly with the painted nightmares?
“We had a bunch of ideas on how to do this without causing harm or offense to anyone,” Jace began, “I didn’t want there to be any PETA demonstrations, so we’re going to limit the circus to human acts and possibly show horses in costumes. As much as I would have loved to seen the elephants and big cats, I sure as hell wouldn’t have wanted to see them in cages or shackles like Dumbo’s Mom.”
“I hate that scene,” Ten said sniffling. “I cry every time I see Mrs. Jumbo rocking Dumbo in her trunk.”
“Me too!” Cope joined in, sounding equally as sniffly.
“Moving along,” Jace said, swiping at his moist eyes. “In the days leading up to the performance, we all thought it would be fun if the circus acts were interactive. Letting people learn how to swing on the trapeze or how to ride that tiny clown bike.”
“Like Homer Simpson when he went to Clown College.” Fitz laughed.
“Something like that,” Jace agreed.
“Goodie!” Wolf rubbed his hands together. “I want to get shot out of a cannon! Remember we saw that, Dad?” he asked Jude. “The daredevil flew through the air and landed in a giant net. I could do that. I’d need a cool name like Wonder Wolf! We could call my friend Cannonball Jackson! I bet he’d love to be arealhuman cannonball.” Wolf’s dark eyes danced with delight.
Jude shot Jace a questioning look. “Are we really going to launch volunteers out of a cannon?” He looked intrigued by the idea.
“If you’re looking for volunteers, I’ll do it!” Ronan laughed. “I’d call myself Raunchy Ronan and wear sparkly pasties on my man nips and one of those speedos made from dental floss and a pirate eye patch.”
Jude gagged. “Can we not talk about man nips at the dinner table.”
“I’m more worried about the itty bitty, teeny weenie in the eye patch.” Fitz snorted.
“I’ll have you know it’snota teeny weenie! In fact I’ll need a heavy-duty tarp and rope to rein it in! Wouldn’t want to scare the women and kids.” Ronan held his hands a foot apart.
“I’ll never unsee that.” Jude grimaced. “I’m scarred for life.”
“Children!” Jace said loudly. “No, there won’t be a cannon, although to be honest, I’m regretting that decision. I’d be more than willing to let Ronan’s happy ass ride the rocket!”
“I’d be a space cowboy!” Ronan crowed.
“Yeah, for ten whole seconds before you smack into the safety net.” Fitzgibbon rolled his eyes.
“Ronan, I say go for it!” Jude said, with a chuckle. “Don’t let anyone stop you from living your space cowboy dream!”
“At least Jude loves me.” Ronan reached for another slice of pizza. If he wasn’t going to be the human cannonball, he’d drown his grief and disappointment in pepperoni and bacon.
“No, Jude wants to move up the ranks in Cold Case. With you out of the way, he’d make sergeant in no time!” Fitzgibbon laughed. “As a matter of fact. I’m with Jude. Live your dream, Ronan!”
