3
Ronan
Ronan, Jude, and Fitzgibbon sat at the back of the elementary school cafeteria, listening to the kids do a final run-through of their upcoming concert program. He knew all of the songs by heart. Everly had sung “The Little Green Frog”so much that Ezra knew all the words and the jazz hand motions too.
Ten and Cope were at the front of the room, singing along with the kids. Ronan never really thought of his husband as being musical, but he’d really found his sweet spot working on the Kindergarten Christmas Pageant and now the Spring Exchange Concert.
“Explain this exchange thing to me. What’s the point of it?” Jude asked.
“It’s a way for the kids to make new friends, get out in the world, and learn that there are more people than the ones they see every day.” Ronan grinned as Ten handed out wings and bumblebee antennae for the next song. He grabbed his own antennae and put them on. There weren’t wings big enough to fit him, or Ronan would be wearing those too. “When I was in kindergarten, we went to sing at a school in South Boston. Those kids came and sang at our school the next week. It was fun being on the bus and spending a day out of the classroom.”
“Wait,yousing?” Fitz asked, full of snark.
“Yeah, in registers only dogs can hear.” Jude elbowed Ronan and started to laugh.
“I’ll have you know I played the lead in my Catholic school play.” Leave it to Jude to be a dick. They’d famously dueted an Elton John classic on a road trip to Cleveland last winter. While neither was in danger of winning a Grammy, he didn’t think they were that bad. Well, at least Ronan wasn’t.
“Cats?” Fitz asked, gasping for breath between giggles.
“Just what an all-boys Catholic school needed, a play about pussy.” Jude howled with laughter.
“I starred inJoseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, asshole!” To Ronan’s horror, the kids stopped singing just as he said the offensive term.
Half of the kids laughed, while the other half shouted, “Bad word,” as if they were pint-sized vocabulary police.
“Ronan!” Ten snapped from the front of the cafeteria. “We don’t saythatword in front of the kindergarteners.”
“What word?Amazing?” Ronan bit his bottom lip to keep from laughing. He was gonna get it when they got home. How the hell was he to know there would be dead silence when he said “asshole”?
“It’s okay.” Everly rolled her eyes. “My dad says that wordallthe time.”
“He does?” Ruth, the little bumblebee standing next to Everly, crossed herself, as if Ronan’s insult put her immortal soul in jeopardy.
Ronan stood up from his seat and walked toward the kids, who were in the process of discussing which of their parents said the offensive word too. “Hey, everyone.” Ronan sat crisscross applesauce in front of the choir. “I’m very sorry you heard me say a bad word.”
Ten’s eyes widened. “Let me get this straight. You’re sorry theyheardyou?”
Christ, he was digging himself a deeper hole. It was time to put down his shovel and do some serious damage control. “I’m sorry I said a bad word.” Ronan shot Ten a self-satisfied look. “I apologize to each and every one of you, especially Ruth.” His eyes were on the little girl, who was bent double, hyperventilating. “Are you okay, or do you need to see the nurse?” The last thing Ronan needed was for the girl to end up in the ER, thanks to his potty mouth and Ruth’s flair for the dramatic.
“I’m…okay…” Ruth stood up straight. Her bumblebee wings hung askew, and she’d lost her antennae.
“That was a nice apology, Dad. Right, everyone?” Everly asked. Her classmates nodded along.
“Okay, let’s get back to rehearsal.” Ronan was all smiles. “Can I sing ‘The Itsy Bitsy Spider’ with you?” It was his favorite childhood song. His mother used to sing it to him and did the hand motions of the spider.
“Can you behave yourself?” Ruth asked, shooting Ronan a skeptical look.
Ronan almost burst out laughing. He’d met Ruth’s parents at a barbeque last fall. They were about as much fun as a box of rocks. Ten minutes into the conversation, Ronan wanted to jab himself in the eye with a sharp stick just to get away from the snoozefest couple. “I’ll do my very best. Scout’s honor.” He snapped off a quick Boy Scout salute.
Ten held his hands up for attention. Ronan couldn’t help thinking that he looked like John Williams about to conduct the Boston Symphony Orchestra. Stifling a giggle, he was on his best behavior as the kids began to sing.
Ronan sang his heart out. He couldn’t help but notice a couple of the kids were hopeless when it came to the spider’s hand motions. Maybe he’d help them practice on the bus tomorrow.
When the song was over, the kids applauded Ronan’s performance. At least he thought they were applauding him. The cheers got louder when he got off the floor and walked back to Jude and Fitz, who gave him a standing ovation. Out of the corner of his eye, he thought he saw some of the kids holding their noses like something stank. One of the little darlings must have tooted. Kindergarteners were notorious windbags.
“Damn, you sounded just like Freddie Mercury,” Fitz said with a straight face.
“You’re right,” Jude agreed. “Ronan’s sounded like he’d been dead for thirty years.”
