Wait, wouldn’t that be a wedding?
Thankfully, Ransom speaks and pulls me out of my thoughts that were most definitely spiraling.
“I didn’t do anything,” he replies. “Are you okay?”
“You did,” I reply firmly. “I’m okay. I don’t even know what set that one off, then. Those are the worst ones as far as I’m concerned, at least I have some sort of warning when it's an obvious trigger.”
I’m sort of rambling a little bit, I’m not really sure why.
Other than the fact that I am normally rambling.
Ransom makes a humming sound that vibrates his chest and is weirdly comforting as he nods, “I once had one at a hockey game. There was literally nothing there that could possibly have triggered it. To this day, I’m still unsure whether it was a smell, or a sound, or what, but I completely agree that the panic attacks that literally attack you out of nowhere are the absolute worst.”
“I hate that you understand, but I’m also glad that you didn’t freak out because I was freaking out, because it would have made it so much worse.”
He chuckles, “Yes, it would have.” Pausing, he holds me tighter for a moment and asks gently, “Do you want to talk about it? I know you don’t know what triggered it, but I’m here if you do want to talk.”
I open my mouth to tell him no, and then hesitate. I don’t want to tell him everything, I don’t think I ever will want to tell anyone everything, but I do want to tell him something, which is an unexpected feeling.
“You know, when I had the panic attack at the Choosing?” I ask.
He tenses, “Yeah.”
“Most of my panic attacks are to do with that time in my life. Not all of them, my life has not been easy, but most of them are from then. He was a warlock, but he relied on stolen magic. He knew what I could do,” I explain, and then stop, I don’t want to get into the whole dying thing.
Ransom is fucking awesome because he doesn’t push me for more information like most people would be tempted to do. He just listens, and that’s all I needed at that moment. If he were to push me right now, it would ensure that I would most likely never open up about that time in my life again.
After a moment, he says, “Thank you for telling me. If you ever want to talk about it more, then I’m here for you. No pressure, no questions. I will just listen.”
I lean forward and kiss him, “Thank you.”
“Would you like a distraction now?”
“Yes, please,” I reply gratefully.
“You were right,” he starts.
“I usually am,” I interrupt, making him chuckle. “Remind me though, what was I right about this time?”
“That there was an ingredient that I could add to the mixture that would bridge the gap between the two elements that aren’t doing what they’re supposed to be doing and are instead fighting each other,” Ransom exclaims and I can hear the excitement in his voice, and the relief, now that he’s figured out a way to fix the issue.
“That’s awesome,” I exclaim with a broad smile as I shift so that I can see him, reluctantly moving my head from his chest.
He grins, “It is, and I never would have thought of it without you pointing it out.”
“Sure you would have,” I reply, then smirk as I add, “just not as quickly.”
He chuckles and then looks around at all of the shelves that surround us, “The only thing is, I don’t have it here.”
“Is it difficult to get hold of?” I ask with a frown. That would be typical.
Ransom shakes his head, “No, I should be able to get some from the apothecary in town.”
“Awesome,” I jump up and grab his arm, pulling him up with me. “Let’s go, I could do with getting out of the house. I know we haven’t exactly been trapped here, or even here for very long, but I want out. Oh, we could drop in on Neera and get a coffee. I feel like I’m never actually going to get to meet up with them.” Frowning, I stop pulling him toward the door, “Shit, I was supposed to meet them. I have no idea when though.”
“You could check your phone?” Ransom suggests when I just stand there with what I am pretty sure is a constipated look on my face.
Closing one eye because it weirdly helps me think, I exclaim triumphantly, “Sunday. I knew I’d remember. See, I didn’t need to look at my phone.”
