We all nod in agreement, and as we start walking, Griff pulls off his button-down, revealing a deliciously tight t-shirt stretching across his muscles.
“Damn, you’re hot. You should wear tight shirts more often,” I say out loud without meaning to.
Griff grins as he stops and pulls me closer. He bends forward, and I go up on tiptoes so I can kiss him. Sometimes I forget just how big he is. He’s not only stupidly tall, and only just shorter than Reed, who is the tallest out of the guys, but he’s broad as well, which makes him seem even bigger than Coen, even though Coen’s the same height, he’s built slimmer.
I love it.
When he steps back, his smile is soft as he swings the button down that he just took off around my shoulders and threads my arms through the sleeves, and I look up at him curiously.
Before he can answer my silent question, it clicks, “Oh, the mark. You can probably see it in the tear.”
“And your ass, Love, that’s just for us,” Coen adds, sounding possessive.
“Well said,” River grins, sharing a look with Coen.
When we start to move again, we pick up the pace. We’ve got a lot of ground to cover, and it’s really late now.
The slight knot that had been growing in my stomach eases at River’s words. I know that it’s extremely selfish of me, but I’m really fucking glad that being his mate doesn’t mean that I can’t be with the others too. By this point, they all hold a piece of my heart, and it would hurt a lot if I couldn’t be with them as well.
So the fact that River isn’t bothered by Griff kissing me, or by Coen claiming my ass as theirs only, which was really hot, I love it when he gets all possessive. I momentarily manage to distract myself by thinking about a possessive Coen, and I frown when I try to remember what it was that I was thinking about.
River, as I was saying, it’s a big relief that he doesn’t seem to mind that even though I’m his mate, I have a special relationship with the others too. I’m so fucking grateful that I realized that before I started to overthinkeverything and then did something ridiculous like try to push the others away or even leave because I didn’t want to hurt anyone.
That is definitely something that I would have done, because I feel just as strongly about the others as I do about River, and if I had to, I wouldn’t be able to choose.
“Are you okay?” Reed suddenly asks me as we carry on running, and I realize that we’re getting pretty close to the pack grounds.
I know that this isn’t the time, but I know me and I will panic, overthink, and make it into something a lot bigger than it is, and if I wait any longer to talk to them about what’s bothering me, then I will do the same thing and freak myself out so much that I will lose the nerve to talk to them about it all.
It’s a whole vicious circle thing.
I stop running, “Can you guys stop for a second?”
Everyone immediately stops and comes to stand near me.
“What’s wrong, Neith?” Coen asks, “You’ve got that look.”
“I don’t know how to say this, and I know that this isn’t the right time, but you all need to know,” I start, and all of their smiles slip off their faces as they look at me with concern. I continue before any of them can say anything, “I know that I’m River’s mate, but you should all know that I can’t choose between you, and I won’t. I know we haven’t spoken about it as such, or at all really, but I care about you all a lot, probably more than I should, and I can’t choose between you. I will leave before I will ever consider even entertaining the idea of choosing. I’m a greedy bitch, I want all or nothing. If that’s not something that you guys can deal with, then that’s perfectly fine, and I’ll talk to Ty about reassigning me.” I decide that I may as well lay everything on the table because I seem to be on a roll, and I continue, without giving them a chance to say anything. “I am, of course, aware that the rest of you will find your mates or your other halves, and that will be the end of us, and that’s okay too. I’m just happy to carry on how we are until then.”
Chapter Two
Neith
Iwatch them all closely for their reactions, as I wring my hands nervously, I said far more than I ever intended to tell them, but it probably needed to be said at some point. It probably didn’t need to be said right at this moment, but unlike normal people, I can’t control when my brain will spout some random shit that I then feel the need to deal with immediately.
They’re all just staring at me, and I’m really nervous that my ability to read their expressions has completely deserted me, as it usually does when I’m stressed. Which isn’t a good thing because I am absolutely certain that I will misunderstand something if I’m not careful.
I take a deep breath, try to calm down, and kick my expression understanding part of my brain back online.
“Okay, let’s take this point by point because I know how hard that was for you to say, and I know that you’re probably not able to read us very well right now, because you’re freaking out,” Coen says, proving how well he knows me.
“Stop panicking, Nene,” Van adds, as he moves forward and takes my hands, “deep breaths.”
I nod, and take some deep breaths, and he steps back and nods at Coen.
“We would never make you choose,” he says firmly.
“We wouldn’t do that to you,” Raiden adds and then looks around at the others, “we wouldn’t do it to each other either.”
