I glance up to see Luke—one of the worship leaders and probably the most patient guy I know. He’s holding two cups of coffee, one stretched out toward me.
I stare at it for a second before accepting. “Thanks.”
He leans against the opposite wall, crossing his arms. “You want to talk about it?”
I blow out a breath, the coffee steaming in my hands. “Not really.”
Luke nods, taking a sip of his drink. “You’re kind of ripping people apart in there.”
I cringe. “I know.”
“Not like you.”
I sigh, my shoulders sagging. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, man.”
Luke doesn’t rush me, just lets the silence stretch. Finally, I look up. “I guess...I’m just trying too hard to make everything perfect.”
He raises an eyebrow. “Everything? Or something specific?”
I stare down at my coffee, the ripples on the surface stilling as my hands stop shaking. “It’s just...Ivy. Things are getting real. Fast.”
Luke nods, his eyes softening. “And that’s a bad thing?”
“No, it’s just...I don’t want to mess it up. I’ve messed it up before. Tried to force things. Tried to control what wasn’t mine to control.”
Luke watches me for a long moment. “You’re talking about Claire.”
I stiffen at the name, but nod. “Yeah. I just—I don’t want to be that guy again. The one who tries to take the reins when it’s God’s job to lead. But it’s hard...when you care this much.”
He leans his head back against the wall, closing his eyes. “That’s the thing about faith, man. You don’t lead. You follow.”
I let that sink in. It feels heavy and light all at once, like a weight I didn’t realize I was carrying just got lifted, even if just a little.
After a beat, Luke pushes off the wall, stretching his back. “You good to go back in?”
I nod, standing slowly. “Yeah. I’m good.”
He claps me on the back. “Just don’t bite anyone’s head off, alright?”
A small laugh escapes me, and I shake my head. “I’ll try my best.”
We step back through the door, and I take a deep breath, hoping—praying—that this time, I can let go. Just a little.
Chapter 31
Ivy
The sanctuary is packed today—families filtering in, friends greeting each other with side hugs and wide smiles. I slip into my usual spot, Harper and Olivia trailing behind me. Harper’s grumbling under her breath, practically ripping the lid off her to-go coffee.
“Are you okay?” I ask, glancing at her as I settle into my seat.
Harper rolls her eyes, taking an aggressive sip of her coffee. “I’m fine. Except Micah thinks I’m going to burn out and made me take this weekend off from the kids’ ministry.” She scoffs. “I told him I’m fine, but he just gave me that ‘I know best because I’m the youth pastor’ look.”
I bite back a grin. “Maybe he’s just looking out for you.”
“He’s looking out for his control issues is what he’s doing,” she huffs, crossing her arms.
Olivia snorts. “Maybe you actually do need a break.”
