It’s going to happen.
And suddenly, the panic rises in my chest, my breathing rushes as the tip of his cock begins to push in, and my hands instinctively move to his chest and push a little.“Wait!”I blurt, my voice breathless and strained as panic moves into overload.
Phoenix freezes instantly.
His eyes widen, wild and confused, and he pulls back just slightly. It is as if I have just doused him with cold water. “What’s wrong? Did I hurt you? Do you not want to?”
“No,” I say quickly, cupping his face. “It’s not that. It’s just…” I hesitate, my anxiety almost crippling me as I stare into his eyes, feeling like he’s about to divorce me, when I tell him.
Quickest marriage in history.
He stills completely, his hands braced on either side of my head. His gaze searches mine. “Clover, talk to me?”
My heart pounds so hard it hurts.
I feel as though I might throw up.
But I can’t lie to him.
Not about this.
Not when he’s about to take something I’ve never given anyone.
“I’ve never…” The words choke in my mouth. “I’ve never donethisbefore.”
His brow furrows, confusion flashing across his face. “Done what?”
I swallow hard, my eyes leaving his out of embarrassment. “Had… s-sex.”
Everything about him goes still, and I risk looking back at him. His pupils dilate, his chest rising and falling rapidly while he tries to process what I’ve just said. He lets out a heavy breath, blinking a few times. “Wait… you’re a virgin?”
Clenching my eyes shut, I whimper a little inadvertently. “I’m sorry. I should have told you—”
“But we’ve done things. You gavereallygood fucking head—”
“I know,” I interrupt softly. “I watched a lot of videos. I didn’t want you to know because I didn’t want you to treat me like I was fragile. But I can’t… I can’t let this happen without you knowing.”
“Jesus Christ, Clover,” he mutters, sitting back slightly on his knees as if the air has been punched clean out of him. He scrubs a hand down his face. “There have been times on this trip where we’ve come close. The cat got in our way, or something else stopped us. Would you have told me then? Or let me take your virginity in a fucking abandoned ticketing booth on the side of the damn road?”
The weight of his reaction crushes something in my chest.
“I don’t know. I might have told you, but I probably wouldn’t have. I’m sorry. I just… I didn’t want to scare you off.”
His eyes snap to mine. “You think thisscaresme?”
I shrug, suddenly unsure, and he exhales hard, leaning back over me, dropping his forehead to mine. “Clo, we’re drunk. This is your first time. I don’t know if this is a good idea. You need your first time to be something special. I need to prepare. To do something magical for you.”
I look at him with a kind smile. “It’s our wedding night. What’s more magical than that?” I whisper. “I want you. I want it to be now. I trust you, Wes.Please. I just needed you to know.”
He pulls back, staring at me like he’s trying to memorize my face. His jaw flexes, his hands fisting in the sheets on either side of my head.
He’s struggling.
I see it.
The push and pull of want and restraint fighting inside him.
“You’re killing me, Clo,” he rasps.
