As if on cue, Dracula opens one yellow eye and gives Phoenix a look that clearly states,‘Watch it, human.’
I burst out laughing. “I think he understood you.”
“Wouldn’t surprise me. He’s probably smarter than both of us combined. An evil mastermind behind all that fluff.”
Glancing back at Dracula, I pet his cute head, and as Vegas grows closer with each mile, I feel something shift inside me.The farther we leave LA in our rearview, the heavier the pit in my stomach grows.
The more my anxiety levels up a notch.
The more my inner monologue is telling me that Maverick would never,everleave me behind when his gut is telling him that something is wrong.
Gnawing down on my bottom lip, the afternoon sun is beginning its descent toward the western horizon, casting long shadows across the desert sand. According to the GPS, we’re making good time. It’s just past one thirty in the afternoon, and the Mojave National Preserve is coming up in about thirty minutes.
“We should make a pit stop,” Phoenix suggests, following my gaze to the landscape ahead. “I know you had that list of places you wanted to photograph.”
I pull out my phone and scroll through the itinerary we’d planned, which feels like a lifetime ago. The screen shows ‘No Service’ in the upper corner. We’re still too deep in the desert for cell towers to reach us. Reminding me of the pit in my stomach that the club, my family, and my home are still out of reach.
Exhaling, I weakly smile at him. “The Mojave Preserve was supposed to be our afternoon stop. Joshua trees and desert landscapes.”
“You still want to do that?” he asks carefully. “Given everything?”
I consider our options. Part of me wants to drive straight through to Vegas, to get to somewhere with cell service, to find out if our worst fears have come true. But another part of me, the part that’s been subtly eye-fucking Phoenix as he drives since that kiss, thinks maybeweneed this. Maybe we need to prove to ourselves that we can still find beauty in the world, even when everything feels broken.
That, and the fact I’m on this trip being paid to carry out ajob. A job that means I need to fulfil certain obligations. Like making the content, I said I would. Even if all I want to do is find out about my family, Maverick would want me to keep calm and carry on.
Sothat isexactlywhat I am going to do.
For now.
“Yeah,” I say, surprising myself with the certainty in my voice. “I think I do want to. And maybe by the time we’re done there, we’ll be close enough to populated areas to get cell signal back.”
Phoenix nods, understanding. The broken satellite phone is a constant reminder of our isolation, but maybe that’s not entirely a bad thing right now.
“Mojave it is, then,” he chimes.
As Phoenix drives, I tell myself to stay calm. To just breathe. But the farther we go, the harder it gets. Each mile puts more distance between us and home, and the silence in the truck leaves too much space for my thoughts to spiral. I try not to, but all I can think about is how there’s no way to reach them, and this low, dull ache that won’t let me forget I have to get back to my brother.
Because he spent every second of his life fighting for me.
And my guilt for not doing the same for him right now is eating me alive.
A single tear slides down my cheek as I stare out the window, my bottom lip trembling.
I’m so fucking sorry, Mav.
Chapter Three
PHOENIX
The weight of Clover’s silence is similar to the feeling of a crushing force throughout my body.
She’s been staring out the passenger window for the past half an hour, watching the desert blur by, and I can practically feel the guilt radiating off her in waves. Every mile we put between us, and LA seems to make it worse.
Dracula is perched behind us on my leather jacket, occasionally letting out a soft moan when we hit a bump, but even he seems to sense the tension in the truck. The little furball keeps looking between us as if he’s waiting for one of us to crack.
But it might bemewho is the first to damn well break.
“You okay over there?” I ask, though it’s a stupid question. Neither of us has been okay since we lost contact with the club.
