He pulled up sharply and turned on me, his eyes narrowed and lip curled back from his teeth. “Youwalked?That must have taken all day—”
“All n-night,” I admitted, my teeth chattering. Why was I so cold? “But, Ruin… aren’t you… didn’t you—”
He stomped on, then caught himself once more and whirled on me, his face twisted and his beautiful eyes afire. “I can’t believe you came! Aftereverything!Do you have no self-respect?”
I felt the blood drain from my cheeks. My tongue suddenly too thick for my mouth. “Why… why would I n-needthat?”
Ruin cursed again and stepped right up to my toes, glaring down at me, gesturing wildly as he spoke. “Don’t you think if I wanted to see you I would haveinvited you?”
The bricks around my tender heart crumbled. Those walls I’d fought so hard to erect, to protect, tosustain me,fell away like dust. The events of weeks earlier, the pain, the shock and shame in my father’s eyes, the sound of my mother weeping, and Ruin… The hole he’d left in mysoulwhen he never returned.
“I didn’t ask you to come—don’t you get it, Bren? I don’t want you here!”
The veil that had shrouded my eyes for the past month suddenly tore away, and I could see.
Ruin’s revolted stare. The contempt in those beautiful eyes. The way his chest rose and fell in very real rage.
Rage againstme.
I took a step back, brought my hands up to my chest to cover the gaping wound he’d left there.
How had I not understood that he’d discarded me?
Why had I convinced myself that my parents were wrong?
Why hadn’t I seen the truth?
I glanced furtively left and right, willing my salvation to appear between the trees. But there was nothing. No one. Just a furious Ruin. The man I had thoughtlovedme. Of whom I’d been so proud. So certain he was the hero, charging into my life to save me.
Oh, how wrong I had been.
We stared at each other in silence as my heart slowly tore in two, my mind shrieking, conjuring the tingling pleasure of his touch. The salty musk of his taste. The sweet, soul-filling sigh of his kiss.
Then he raked a hand through his hair and swore and the moment’s respite shattered.
I flinched.
What the hell was I doing here? How had I ever believed he would wish me anything butgone?
Though shadows had haunted my mind ever since that dreadful day, I’d never wished myself dead until that moment. Not until I looked into Ruin’s eyes and saw the loathing there. The pinch of disgust wrinkling his nose.
I’d never before asked for God’s hand against me. Never pleaded for the earth to open and swallow me up. But I did then.
As I stood in the half-light of the forest shadows, the nearby launch hollow echoing with the groans and snorts of the dragonfuries, and the hum of male voices, and I saw the man I had loved for three yearsdespiseme, I wished for death.
Ruin shook his head, but he turned to look over his shoulder again, back towards the hollow. Towardsher.
He swore again, then clawed his fingers through his thick, tousled hair before meeting my now tear-blurred eyes.
“You need to leave.”
I tried to nod, but nothing wanted to move.
“Get the fuck out of here and never come back, Bren. Do you hear me?”
“Y-you said…” I swallowed the painful lump in my throat. It went down slowly, clawing at my flesh as it descended. “You s-said you wanted to m-marry me—”
“Are you fucking with me? You can’t honestly believe—”
