He huffed. “Trust me, I’m aware,” he muttered, then blinked like he hadn’t meant to say it out loud.
My head jerked back and his eyes snapped to mine, both of us staring.
Something, right at the center of my chest, behind my heart,flippedwhen he stared like that. My body swayed towards him of its own accord, but I caught myself. Intended to turn my back, to cut off that gaze, to ignore the bloom of feeling—but I couldn’t. I opened my mouth to tell him to leave, but no words came out.
Somethinghotand needy unfurled within me. Something I’d previously only felt for Ruin—until he’d stomped and kicked, and now it feltfilthy.
“Bren,” Donavyn breathed, his voice low and ragged.
“I’m ruined,” I blurted, then clapped my hand over my mouth, the need coiling inside me turning to the ache of humiliation.
Donavyn’s eyes narrowed, his brows heavy and shadowing those beautiful eyes.“What?”
Oh God. But I needed him to stop looking at me like I was precious. He needed toknow.Because once he did, that light would die, and… and that had to be the answer.
I swallowed and dropped my hands, gripping them together at my waist. “Faren wasn’t…” I swallowed hard. “I’m not a virtuous woman. So—”
“Oh, Bren—”He stepped towards me, reaching out, and that wasworse.
I stumbled back against Akhane who hissed at him and he drew up short, motioning to soothe her. I thought that would break the spell, but the moment she stopped hissing he looked at me again, and something in his gaze hooked right behind my ribs.
No.
“I am not the King’s whore. And I never will be. If that’s expected, I’ll—”
“No, Bren. Absolutelynot.There is no man in this Kingdom to has arightto you—or should believe he does.”
I nodded, swallowing again. Relieved. “That’s good,” I stammered. “But I believe men like Faren have a sense of women who…” My cheeks went up in flames and Donavyn clawed a hand through his hair. I finally dragged my eyes from his because I couldn’t say these words with my soul open to him like that. I raked a gaze down his body and spoke to his feet, Akhane’s broad leg at my back like a tree trunk.
“I’m not innocent, Donavyn. Some men can sense that. I don’t invite them, but they think I’ll welcome them—I won’t!” I said tightly, meeting his eyes just for that moment because it was important that he knew. His Adam’s apple bobbed and that put a spear in my guts so I looked down again. “I amnotthe King’s whore. But to most men I am no better—” My voice broke and I cut off, swallowing the pinch in my throat.
Donavyn’s chin dropped. I didn’t meet his eyes, but watched his feet and saw his weight shift. His posture tense.
He was angry.
Shit.
I swallowed again. “I have no desire for men,” I lied. “I’m not here to tempt a man. I just want to live my life and try—”
“Bren, don’t youdare.”
I shrank as he stormed towards me, closing those last feet between us and came to a jagged halt at my toes. I knew he’d be angry when he learned. But I hadn’t anticipated that he’d come at me.
“Bren—”
“I’m not going to—”
“Bren, look at me.”
I shook my head. “I already know the shame, you don’t have to tell me,” I whispered, putting a hand back to Akhane’s leg because I felt like I might fall. “I just want to fly and—”
“For God’s sake, Bren—none of that matters, and it’s notyour fault!”
I frowned at his feet, barely breathing—then sucked in when his hand rose, one finger hooked under my chin and he pulled my head up.
He towered over me, hair falling around his face, those pale eyes piercing and locked on mine. The tension in him made the skin at the corners of his eyes crinkle. Between the hair and the shadows on his cheeks, his eyes burned bright and stopped my breath completely.
“Let’s be very clear on one point: I don’t give a shit about your past,” he said, searching my eyes. “And any good man I know wouldn’t either. No matter what you’ve done—or what’s been done to you. The Flameborne areChosenfor a new life for a reason. But nothing prepares you for this. Your past life is just that, your past. It isn’t what you’re measured on here. And hear me, Bren: Faren shouldn’t have spoken the way he did. If he, or any other man ever speaks to you that way again, you tell me. I will makecertainhe is informed. I would do the same for Terra, or the women who set my fire and serve my meals. You don’t need toearna man’s respect. He should give it to provehisvalue toyou. Yours is already apparent.”
