I wanted to cry. I wanted to throw up. I wanted to slam the door in her face and pout like a child. Instead, I swallowed hard. “Do they know? My brothers? Do they know what happened last night?”
‘I don’t know.’
I clawed a hand through my hair.‘Didyoutell anyone?’
Akhane’s head reared back. Her nostrils pinched and she snorted plumes of smoke. My already roiling stomach sank, because I could feel the offense in her.
‘Dragons do notgossipabout their riders!’she snipped in my head.
“I’m sorry, Akhane. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to… I only thought—"
‘Go, Bren. The feelings will fade once you have faced what makes you afraid. But until you do, it will torment you.’
“But—”
Akhane made a low, rumbling noise of disapproval and planted her foot a step closer to me, her head tilting to meet my eye with hers.
‘Bren, do you wish to letthissteal your future? Do you truly believeDonavynwould humiliate you publicly? He’s a better man than that. He proved that last night, did he not?’
“A better man than me, anyway,” I muttered.
‘Then there is no excuse. Go.’
I stood a moment longer, staring at her, but she only stared back, that rigid sense of bristling disapproval coming in waves through the bond.
I’d hurt her.
I swallowed hard. “I’m sorry, Akhane,” I said quietly.
‘If you truly are, please go. Show them that you’re grown up enough to face even the awful things.’
‘Can we go fly another roll and have my arm sliced open again instead?’
I felt her soften a hair, and she huffed once. But she didn’t back away.‘No, Bren. Even when things are hard, you must do what is right. It is what Furyknights do.’
I dragged my feet getting my boots on and peeked out the door to make sure Kgosi and Donavyn hadn’t returned before scuttling through the stable, then leaning around the corner of the door to make certain they weren’t there, either.
Then I practically ran. I didn’t have much time before I was supposed to be in class, but if I didn’t get some food into my stomach quickly, I would heave bile all over my brothers—yet another reason for them to despise me.
So, I trotted into the dining hall and begged a cheese and ham roll from the cooks, then choked it down as I half-walked, half-ran to the main building.
The first time I entered this building it was with him. His upright posture marching ahead of me—his voice firm but gentle. He pointed out the history of the place and—
I turned from those memories and ran.
Our squad’s classroom wasn’t in that awe-inspiring, obsidian building Donavyn had shown me the first day. But while the side buildings were less fancifully formed with fewer eaves and no carvings on the corners, they were still made of that dragon-flamed stone and stood in black, gleaming rows behind the main Academy.
When I reached the room on the fourth floor, I was relieved not to have run into Donavyn, but as I hurried into the space that looked like a cross between a school room and the chambers for a war council, my body tensed again as my brothers all turned to look at me in the doorway.
They knew.
No one said a word at first—then Ronen quirked one brow in a question and I realized they stared because I’d gone still in the doorway and they were waiting for me to enter.
Voski raised his chin to me when I passed him in the aisle between desks to take the desk behind him. Harle grinned as I sat down and Gil murmured my name. The others raised their hands in greeting. I smiled awkwardly, then heaved myself onto a stool.
Everything in the classrooms was too big for me. The only seats at the tall, dark tables were stools so tall I had to hop to get up, and my feet dangled when I got my ass properly into the seat. Once I was perched there, Ronen clapped for attention and everyone went quiet.
I must have looked worse than I thought, because as Ronen called for our attention, Voski leaned back, over my table and whispered, “I’ve got a recipe for hangovers. Come see me after patrol and I’ll write it down for you. Fix you right up.”
