“Interesting.”
“Yeah, it is.He loved hockey just as much as the rest of us until he came here.Untilyouand your stupid kids distracted him.You’re jeopardizing his career.Gonna make him choose, aren’t you?And he’s too big of a sap to do what’s right.To do what heneedsto do.He’s going to do what he thinks heshoulddo, and that’s stay here and play house and become Daddy to your kids.”He shook his head, glaring down at me like I was no more than a flea on a rat.“He might not resent you right away, but he will.”
“Always nice seeing you, Kirby.Say hi to Melissa for me, hmm?”Then I tightened my grip on my bags and left him standing there at the top of the stairs with his anger and self-righteousness.
“I bet the media would have a field day if I went to them with your history.That Maverick was a minor, living with you.Nobody will believe you two kept it clean when he was under your roof back then.Maybe I’ll send an anonymous tip.”
Bile rose up my throat, coating the back of my tongue, but I refused to turn around or even change my pace.I needed to get back to the cabin and check on Maverick.
As hard as I tried to push Kirby’s words out of my mind as I drove back across the island, it wasn’t easy.
What if Maverickdiddecide to not return to hockey and stayed here?We’d only just started whatever this was, and while it felt a lot less temporary than we first agreed on, it still was intended to be temporary.He was only twenty-six.He had his whole career—his whole life—ahead of him.We couldn’t expect him to give it all up for us.For … me.
I arrived at the cabin and parked, left my groceries in the backseat, and jumped out.I didn’t bother knocking, but just entered, finding him sitting there on the couch, eyes red, and looking absolutely wrecked.
Sliding onto the sofa beside him, he instantly collapsed against me, his head on my chest.“He’s such a prick,” he murmured, not sobbing, but with a hoarse voice and stuttered breath.“And I kicked him out.I stood up to him, and I kicked him out.”
“That’s huge.You did the right thing.”Stroking his head and holding him, I decidednotto tell him about my own run-in with Kirby, or his threat to slander Maverick’s and my past relationship.I’d absolutely hit him with a lawsuit if he did it, but the damage would already be done, and that was what I feared the most.Maybe I’d tell Maverick later, but for now, we needed to focus on how he felt about their confrontation.
“Did I though?”He lifted his head, uncertainty in his gaze.“Because even though I know my dad is wrong … he’s still my dad.And all I’ve ever wanted my entire life is his approval.And not having it … I … I don’t know how to function.”
While I couldn’t entirely relate because there wasn’t a time in my life that I didn’t fear and hate my father, I understood what it was like to want to be loved.Because as much as I hated my dad, I still craved what all kids do, and that’s love from their parents.But to my dad, since the moment he found out I was a girl, I was only ever a burden, another mouth to feed, and a daughter he couldn’t wait to “pawn off on a husband.”
“What doyouwant to do?”I asked him, cupping his face in my hands so he had to look me in the eye.“Not your dad, not the team, not anybody else.What doyouwant to do?”
His chin wobbled a little.“I … don’t want to go out like this.If I go out, I want it to be onmyterms.Not because of an injury.”
I understood that completely.Nodding, I managed a small, sad smile.“I get that.”
He swallowed.“I have a doctor’s appointment in Seattle on Monday.”
“Okay.So, Monday.We wait to hear how things are going on Monday.”
His chest rattled a little as he exhaled and he tucked his cheek back against my breast while I held him.“Thank you,” he murmured.“Thank you for coming back.For being here with me.I lo—”
“Shhh,” I said quickly, cutting him off and stroking his hair again as panic and uncertainty whipped through me.He could probably hear my heart thudding mercilessly.
We weren’t there yet, and I wasn’t going to let him say it.Not out loud.Not to me.Because once it was said, you could neverun-say it.And if he planned to return to the game, he needed a clear head without his heart—or my heart—weighing in on the equation.
Of course he didn’t want to retire yet, and certainly not because of an injury.But that also meant, despite his conflicting feelings about the league, he wasn’t ready to leave.So I absolutely could not give him false hope that what we had was anything more than temporary.A painful stab in my chest at the thought of letting him go made me wince, but his eyes were closed so he didn’t see.
It was for the better.He didn’t need to see my pain.I could manage it on my own like I always did.I was a survivor of a terrible father, a horrible husband, domestic abuse, marital rape, and a corrupt religion.Compared to that, heartache would be a piece of cake.
At least that was what I was going to tell myself.
A piece of cake—filled with razor blades.
We did our best to push Maverick’s altercation with his father out of our heads for the remainder of the weekend.He helped me make delicious pulled chicken tacos for dinner, complete with homemade tortillas.Even the kids joined in on the food prep toward the end, dicing tomatoes and making the guacamole.
I ignored the lump at the back of my throat as emotion threatened to ruin the vibes when I stood back and watched Maverick and my kids laughing and goofing off at the kitchen island.All of them smiling, all of them happy.
We had a good life, the three of us with my cousins, but that didn’t mean we couldn’t have a better one.A happier one.And I’d be a fool to pretend that adding Maverick to the mix wouldn’t make things better.He already fit in with our bunch seamlessly.
The idea of the four of us as a big, happy family taunted me and I had to turn away and face the sink when those painful emotions threatened to bubble up to the surface as more than just a tight throat.Nobody needed to see me struggling.Nobody needed to know that Maverick’s time with us was surely coming to an end sooner than any of us were ready.
“Awe, dude, you need to cut the onions up smaller.They’rewaytoo chunky,” Laurel complained to her brother.“Nobody wants to eat guacamole with onion chunks the size of a toenail.”
“Eww, why’d you have to use a toenail to compare size?Now I have no appetite,” Damon retorted.
