“You don’t want to waste words on pretending. I can respect that. People have been pretending for so long it feels normal to them. It makes you wonder if anybody is real anymore. You ever feel like everybody else is wearing masks and you’re the only one that sees ‘em’?” I asked, looking down at her pretty face.
She finally looked at me. Really looked at me, like she was seeing me for the first time, her gaze steady and unreadable.
“I see too much sometimes. It's easier to just not look for what's real. That way I won't get hurt and in turn I won’t hurt anybody back.” She said, her voice softening along with the look in her eyes.
“I want to knock down those walls I see you hiding behind, but I know you’re not ready for that. All I ask is for you not to build them higher. Give me a chance. Get to know me behind the mask and let me get to know the real you, not the mask you wear for the world. My mask is off, and you can always look without being hurt, lil baby.”
“I’m not normal, Gunner.” She said, dropping her head again.
Fuck, the way my name sounded rolling of her tongue had my dick hard. I closed the distance between us, cupping her cheek so she could see me. “Me either, lil baby. Me either.” I stepped back, giving her some space. I could tell by the way she tensed up that touch might not be her thing. I would ask permission in the future before touching her.
I kept my distance for the rest of the time we spent in the attic together. She still didn’t speak much, but the tension that was there before had lifted. It would take time, but I could see her opening up to me in more ways than one.
“Where having a small party on Saturday, just a couple of people, nothing too big,” I said. “You and Char should stop by.”
“I don’t think that would be a good idea, Gunner. I came here for one thing and that was not to go to parties.”
I understand but don’t you think you deserve more than silence. Don’t close yourself off. Come over and if it’s not for you I’ll take you home myself,” I told her.
She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, sighing before she said. “Okay. I’ll come…”
I know she didn’t mean it like that but the thought of her coming made my dick jump. “Good.”
We finished up in the attic and then headed down to the guestroom, which didn’t need much but some light dusting, vacuuming and new linen. Once we had that done, Alestar took the girls outside to walk Sage, giving us some privacy while Aren and I sat with Ma to fill her in on what we learned at the lawyers this morning. We went out on the back deck, where MA had pitchers of iced tea and lemonade waiting for us.
“We met with the lawyers this morning and accepted the inheritance he left for us. It seems that he left everything to us.” Aren said to her.
She didn’t speak; she just sat and listened.
“Based on what the lawyers said he believed that Amanda had something to do with dad’s death,” I said.
Pain flickered in her eyes at the mention of her daughter who we hadn’t seen since we were children. Ma had always bore the guilt of our mother leaving us like it was her fault that her daughter became a drug addict or had mental health issues. Ma was a good mother and her and our maternal grandfather raised Amanda in a loving happy home. But when he died when Amanda was in high school, she just spiraled out of control. She had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and depression the year before her father died, refusing to get help after his death.Instead, she got addicted to drugs at the age of sixteen, just some weed at first to self-medicate until she was introduced to harder things by some of her friends.
“I always knew that Reginald didn’t like or trust your mother, but…to say that she might have had a hand in the death of your father. Lord have mercy,” she said, clutching the gold cross she wore around her neck.
“He suspected her enough to cut her out of his will. He made sure that she wouldn’t get a dime. He believed that dad’s love for her killed him,” I said.
Ma let go of her necklace and picked up her glass again, hands trembling slightly as she took a drink.
“She was my daughter, and I loved her. But I wasn’t blind. I saw her demons. But to think that she could or would have harmed your father. I just don’t know.” She said, voice cracking.
“I have to know. We deserve to know everything that went on back then, maybe get some closure.” Aren said.
“Fuck closure.” I growled.
“Language Gunner. Now I know you are upset but remember who you’re talking to.” Ma said, only barely raising her voice before she sat back in her chair again, swallowing hard and then nodded. “Just promise me that you won’t let it eat you alive no matter what you find out.” Her gaze locked on me as she spoke.
I reached across the table, placing my hand on hers with a squeeze. “We won’t let it get to us. I promise no matter what.” I would promise Ma anything to put her at ease even if I didn’t believe the shit myself.
Chapter 6
Pepper
The weather today was beautiful. It was sunny and warm unlike the first couple days I was here, that had me feeling like I was going to catch fire. We got to the mall early trying to avoid the huge weekend crowds. I hadn’t been shopping for myself in so long I almost forgot how. Taye insisted on choosing my clothes for me after we got together. He said if he didn’t, I would walk around looking like a baby stud. Even after telling him why I chose to dress in comfortable baggy clothes he still acted like it was a life choice that he had to break me out of.
Since Char was the fashionista of our tiny friend group she thought it was her job to pick out each and every one of my outfits choices. She pulled out outfit after outfit that she thought complimented my full figure. I kept my face neutral sliding pieces that I didn’t agree with back on the racks to Char’s displeasure.
“Will you stop putting back everything that I pick for you? Keep on you gon’ be walking around in yoga pants and graphic tees every day,” she groaned.
