"You're a good mom," I said. "She's lucky to have you."
"I'm lucky to have her," Fiona said. "It was a high risk pregnancy. The doctor suggested I not go through with it, but I couldn't bring myself to end it. Although, there were times when I had morning sickness so bad I thought it would end both of us." She scrunched up her face.
"That sounds terrible," I said sympathetically. I'd never given much thought to having children. Getting around was difficult enough, and if I passed my arthritis onto them…
"It was. I became very intimately attached to the bathroom floor, in front of the toilet," she said with a laugh. "But Sarah is completely worth it. I wouldn't have changed those days for anything."
"Can I ask you something?" I asked carefully.
"That depends what it is," she said. "You can ask, but I don't guarantee to answer." She smiled, showing she was at least half joking.
That was fair.
"Sarah's father. You said he's not around?"
"That's right," she said lightly. "It's not Reese, if you're wondering. He would have stuck around for her. And I would have spent my life feeling guilty about tying him down."
I told her what I told Riley about my father taking off when I was little. "I know how it feels to have an absent father. Mymother was physically present, but she was otherwise absent. At least Sarah has you."
"That's terrible," Fiona said. "I can't imagine having a kid and not giving them everything they need as best you can. I know I can't do everything for her, but I try. You know?"
"I do know, because I've seen you together," I said. "She adores you. I can't help wishing… I had what you give her." A mother that cared whether she succeeded or not. That supported her and nurtured her. The kind of parent I wished for every child. Parents who wanted their offspring. That didn't seem like a whole lot to ask to me.
"I wish you did too," Fiona said softly. "I wish you grew up here in Aurora Hollow. I bet we would have been like sisters. Doing everything together and all that shit. Whitney and Holly are great, but they're older than me. When they started high school, I barely saw them. We drifted apart for a long time. We kinda didn't hang out again until a couple of years ago. But you and I, we could have given Connor and Riley a bunch of shit. And the other guys in town too." She made it sound amazing.
"That would have been wonderful," I said wistfully. Even if my family was distant, I would have been surrounded by found family. There was no reason I couldn't have that now. It already felt like I did. I could certainly have worse sisters than Fiona, Whitney and Holly.
"Well, you're here now," Fiona said. "We can make the most out of that."
"I hope to," I said. I'd never been anywhere that felt like home like this town did. More than anything, I wanted to belong. To be a part of this place and the people in it. A valuable member of the community, not just someone who lived here. I wanted it so much my heart ached.
She was silent for a few minutes as we made our way down the street. We crossed an empty side street and stopped in frontof a cottage with a facade made entirely of river stones and timber. Judging by the wear on the heavy wooden door, it must have been standing for at least a hundred years. In the centre, an iron door knocker in the shape of a horse shoe was shiny, like hundreds of hands had gripped it to announce the visitor's presence.
The mat in front of the door showed signs of once having words or patterns on the surface. Whatever it was, I couldn't make it out now. It could have been anything from the word 'welcome,' to a picture of a moose or maybe a kangaroo, its tail out behind it.
"This is where Gavin Clarke lives." Fiona nodded towards the door before she pushed it open and stepped inside. "Gavin?"
I hesitated for a moment before following her in.
18
LEAH
The place was dimly lit,but cosy. Low ceilings welcomed me inside, like a warm hug.
I followed Fiona into the small, open plan living and kitchen area.
Dark blue walls contrasted with white crown moulding and wainscoting. A brick fireplace off to one side was cold and empty.
"Hey, Gavin." Fiona placed the bags on the kitchen counter.
He sat on an armchair near the window, staring at a small television. I recognised the show, featuring a family who renovated a resort in the Bahamas. Somewhere I'd love to go someday.
At first, I didn't think he knew we were there, but slowly he turned his face. His brows dipped when he looked at me.
"This is Leah." Fiona flapped a hand in my direction before starting to pull out groceries from the bag. "Have you eaten today?"
"Leah." Gavin seemed confused, like his mind wasn't putting all the pieces together.
