Shutting the door with my knee, I turned back to see Ian leaning over his thighs, staring at me. There was no point in trying to be anything other than myself as I walked back over, set the tray down, then lowered back to the couch.
“You’re hurt,” he said.
I quickly shook my head. “Not right now. It hurts sometimes, but not today.”
“That’s not a football injury.”
I burst into laughter. “No. I’ve never played football in my life.” I took a breath. “I was trampled by a horse when I was a kid. Bunch of surgeries later, and it left mewith about an inch and a half of leg. The rest right now is all titanium.”
“Shit,” he muttered.
I bowed my head. “I know it’s weird, and I swear I won’t judge you if you want to bail.”
His hand shot out, and his finger hooked under my chin, drawing my gaze up. “Who told you it was weird?”
“Sweetheart, no. We’re not going to play the two-legged savior game tonight, okay? My body is different, and it freaks people the fuck out when they see me naked. Most of the time, I just take my dick out when I’m fooling around with someone and leave the rest tucked away. It is what it is. There are people out there who won’t be bothered by it, but I don’t want to hear some bullshit lecture about how all bodies are beautiful and everyone deserves to whatever and blah, blah, blah.”
He blinked at me, then pressed his hand over his mouth. For a second, I thought he was holding in a sob, but then his eyes squinted, and I realized he was laughing.
“Fuck you,” I blurted.
His grin widened as he dropped his hand. “Are you done?”
I shook my head, then leaned back and pulled my pant leg up toward my knee. “This is Carol-Ann.”
“Like fromPoltergeist?”
“Mhm.”
He cocked his head to the side. “Why?”
My usual answer danced on the tip of my tongue. I usually gave some “they’re here” bullshit, and themoment they looked entirely lost, I changed the subject. For some reason, tonight, I couldn’t.
“My dad—my stepdad—” It felt weird to call him that, even though that was the technical truth. I just didn’t find out he wasn’t my real dad until I was eleven. “He wanted me to be as normal as possible, so he insisted I have an implant in what was left of the bone. It…didn’t go well. I almost died.”
Sepsis was no fucking joke, and though my memories of it were foggy, it still gave me an ugly, queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach whenever I talked about it.
“Did you start seeing dead people after your recovery?”
I dropped my pant leg and stared at him. “Uh, no. That’s the wrong movie.”
He held up two hands. “Technically, shedidsee dead people?—”
“She saw a poltergeist. Hello? That is an entity, not a dead person, first of all?—”
“Pretty sure that house was full of dead people,” he countered, not missing a beat. My heart sped up in the best way. “And while the whole trope of angry Native American burial ground ghosts is kind of high-key racist,” he added, “I’m pretty sure that ancient ancestors buried beneath HOAs with water parks would love to scare the absolute shit out of a bunch of middle-class suburban white people.”
I blinked. “We aresooff topic.”
He snorted and reached for what looked like a chicken strip before settling back. He took a massivebite, and then his cheeks pinked again, and he chewed slowly. “So. Why Carol-Ann?”
I snagged a mushroom and bit into it, ignoring the way searing hot oil flooded my mouth. “Uh. Um…” My eyes watered as I swallowed. “Uh, well, I was in a rehab hospital for a while after the sepsis infection. It was lonely. Like…really fucking lonely. But on Thursdays, this overnight nurse would come in and sit with me. I later found out she was my surgeon’s wife, and he told her to spend time with me because he could tell I had terrible parents. She had the most wild taste in movies. Like old-school horror, you know? She showed mePoltergeistand then told me about the little girl who died while making it, and…I don’t know. It was fascinating. Something about naming my leg after her felt appropriate.”
“That’s morbid,” he said, eyeing the plate.
I sighed and lifted it, putting it in the space between us. “Eat as much as you want. I got it for you.”
“I look that pathetic, huh?”
